sheesh!

More energy on e-crushes, and less thought on the blog I guess; I'm glad I wrote today's last night. I think I'm finally starting to get past my initial shock with Domino; we'll see if/when she writes. Is the infatuation because she is so frickin' cute, because I like her writing, or because she obviously seems to like me and mine?! ...and this begs the question of course, as to how in the world can I be acting like this when I've only known her a couple of days.

Absence will do wonders for me I bet though ...given that today is her birthday, I bet it will be tomorrow before I hear from her. If she writes to my regular e-mail, then I guess I can start tying myself into knots again but geez. Get a grip dude, it's only been a few days!

The hours are creeping by here with Dad; he actually seems to be a little bit better today at least. He's actually working in his puzzle book a little bit, and he's actually been watching tv for a change.

interesting.

Even more interesting is that I sat down and wrote something kinda poetic yesterday ...I had hope in mind, not anything directly with me (at least, I don't think so). I hadn't thought of Valort in years, but it helps to have a nice fake name so I can put "plausible deniability" in place at least.

For all our days of living blue
ignoring ways the heartache grew
we ventured gave and lost anew
yet still it seems astounding

When all we wish is touch of bliss
the smell of past will sound amiss
the sight of truth so tastes of piss
we trick ourselves to trusting

Ignoring help the godless sends
awaiting crime despairing mends
the last past time that present rends
to pieces neverlasting

While other ways we flaunt our dreams
in spite of all our thought it seems
no matter what the heart may scream
the silence is exhausting

-Reyd Valort