I'm offended by your attempt to be inoffensive!

...and in retaliation for your inoffensiveness, I'm going to be as offensive as possible!

I found myself caught up in a bit of the hyperbole after this story was posted on a message forum I often frequent.  I'm having to go back and edit now because the original poster changed from one link to another, but the original link was from here.  The title really says it all:  "School Forces Child to remove 'God' from Veterans Day poem:  Separation of Church and State" (of course in great big letters with all caps and everything on the site); not sure why the original poster changed the link to the former when even the forum post title was from the latter ...since more facts have been coming out, the original hyperbolic articles have become significantly shorter for some reason though.  The forum topic ran 14 freakin' pages before a moderator shut it down.

In a nutshell (the original and slightly less hyperbolic article by the local paper that started the whole shitstorm is here):  West Marion Elementary school (in North Carolina) hosted some sort of school-sponsored Veteran's Day event, and a 6 year-old girl had written some kind of awesome poem in honor of her grandparents who served in Vietnam ...so they asked her to read it at the assembly.  Problem was, it contained the lines "He prayed to God for wisdom, he prayed to God for peace" within, and some evil atheist secular progressive homosexual asshat with bad-breath (and possibly the bubonic plague) threatened to sue because he would be offended by hearing the word "god" or "prayer" recited in front of impressionable children.

Oh wait ...but as more facts came out (why in the world they waited until after Thanksgiving to release a story about a Veteran's day event escapes me, but we all know how sensationalism sells), there was no person complaining in the first place; in fact, the little girl was never even asked to recite it.  They simply wanted to print it on the program-bulletin for the event (the details of who if anyone WAS to recite it is unclear, but you can bet if it were truly the 6-year-old girl, it would be the headline on every right-wing rag on the internet this morning).   The school super remarked that he was concerned about the establishment clause in the printing of that phrase so he asked the principal, who simply suggested that it be changed to "He prayed for wisdom, he prayed for peace" if he was concerned, they signed off on it and probably didn't give two thoughts to it until the TRUE "offended party" reared their ugly head(s).  It would appear that in this particular case, the feared "PC police" weren't the evil secular progressives after all, but rather ...the Christians (insert dramatic *gasp* here)!

When I first read the forum post ...honestly, I mostly just wanted to be a Devil's advocate since virtually every responding post was screams of outrage over the censorship.  I didn't hear a single person defend the hyperbolic insinuation that with malice, the school blatantly and flagrantly censored the girl; some asked why it was such a big deal that "God" be in it in the first place, but virtually everyone (including myself) agreed that the girl should have been able to read it just like she'd written it.  I wasn't bothered so much by what the article said so much as what it didn't say.

The original complaint (and presumably the ones who went to the press with the story), were a school employee Chris Greene, Greene's father and one other resident, Esther Dollarhyde.  From the original article:

“On Nov. 8, 2012 West Marion held their annual Veterans Day program in the midst of a lot of drama,” Greene said. “We had one parent concerned with the use of the word God in this program. This parent did not want the word God mentioned anywhere in the program. When the demand from this person was heard, the rights of another stopped. It did so by hushing the voice of a six-year-old girl.”

There was a followup article in the same local paper yesterday, and it seems to be overlooked that the "one parent" probably didn't even exist according to the statements given (or maybe they wasn't mentioned in fear of retaliation from the apparently rather large group that was being "persecuted" by him/her).

“There has been some misinformation out in the public, and I appreciate the chance to relate the truth and facts of this situation,” Kirkpatrick said to those present. “Upon returning from a medical leave, I was approached by staff to approve of a printed program for an upcoming assembly. The printed program included religious references, and I was concerned about it being distributed in the written program and read at a school-wide assembly.” 

Kirkpatrick explained that after speaking with School Superintendent Dr. Gerri Martin about the program over the phone, it was decided that the religious writing should be modified in part. The program was then approved and the poem was printed on the program without reference to a specific deity.

That part alone is pretty telling when you consider the whole pesky 9th commandment thing; most of the original articles have been pretty heavily edited now to reflect the new information at least.  It seems that just about everyone was caught up in the incorrect "recitation" aspect that turned out to be untrue; now it's more a matter of a school document rather than free speech.  I developed a little bit of trouble with the whole thing after this little tidbit from Greene in the initial article:

“My question is this, when do the rights of one outweigh the rights of another? I believe that this little girl’s rights were violated and that those who worked so hard to prepare this program should receive an apology.”

While I would tend to agree that asking her to remove the word "God" would have been an infringement had she been asked to read it (it was probably even overstepping slightly to take it out even in the written form), but what I *do* have a problem with is why in the world Greene should think that the people who wrote the program were owed an apology instead of the girl whose rights were allegedly violated (?!).  I have a sneaking suspicion that Greene may well be one of those planners, but that's just idle speculation on my part. When I see statements like this:

“Let me add here that those prayers worked, because he went on to serve two tours in Vietnam,” Greene said.

and this:

“We need to keep in mind what was our country founded on,” stated Dollarhyde. “It was founded on God and Jesus Christ, and our veterans went out and fought for us so we would have a free country, but if we aren’t allowed to honor them the way that the children want to then America is getting lost.”

As for the first: if a prayer for peace earned me two tours, I might want to start reconsidering my choice in deities (but I guess one out of two ain't bad ...and yes, I know they were probably talking about "inner" peace, but why mess up a good punchline?).  The second has more issues than I'm going to touch on, but since just about every war including the American Revolution was fought against other Christians, I'm not so sure that it's a point to be proud of.

The crux of the entire conflict was answered in the follow-up article though, but as of yet I can't see that anyone else seems to be noticing what ought to be one of the more relevant parts of this entire fiasco:

To clarify how the poem came about, the mother of the little girl, Renata Crawley, with the support of her husband, Greg Crawley, spoke to the board and those at the meeting about their feelings concerning the incident. 

During the public comment portion of Monday’s meeting, Crawley explained that her daughter was assigned to write about her grandfathers -- who both served in the armed forces -- for the school’s Veterans Day program. 

She stated that after her daughter was assigned to write the poem, the youngster became frustrated. To help ease some of that tension, Renata, along with the rest of the family, helped the young girl construct the poem. 

“My daughter struggled writing about her grandfathers when writing this poem,” stated Renata. “She is 6 years old and does not know much about war or the armed forces.” 

Crawley said the family worked together on the poem, with her 6-year-old daughter assisting with rhyming words to make the poem “her style.” 

While creating the poem, the family decided to write about the little girl’s grandfather, Bud, who carried a prayer stone to Vietnam with him, which inspired the now controversial lines that would later be censored. 

“He prayed to God for strength, he prayed to God for peace,” the poem was supposed to say.

For those who have trouble reading between the lines on this one  ...THE SIX YEAR-OLD GIRL DIDN'T WRITE THE POEM!!!  ...at least not without a shit-load of help from her family.  Even if we skip over the fact that they knowingly allowed the lie about it being a public speaking engagement to propagate unchecked, the family STILL voiced no offense at it being edited (apparently the people who printed it were the ones with a problem).  The initial mis-information is staggering though.  In the original article the newspaper contacted a first amendment specialist, Ken Paulson, about the school's right to do what they did and he had this to say to the paper:

“Courts have consistently held up the rights for students to express themselves unless their speech is disruptive to the school,” stated Paulson. “When the little girl wrote the poem and included a reference to God she had every right to do that. The First Amendment protects all Americans. She had every right to mention God, (but) that dynamic changed when they asked her to read it at an assembly.” (emphasis mine)

So even HE wasn't given the whole story.  When I followed the specialist they consulted for that statement, even Mr. Paulson seemed slightly bewildered in his own statement:

Clearly the school was trying to avoid being sued, but its best bet was to let the young lady speak her mind. The likelihood of being successfully sued in this gray area was minimal; the likelihood of being decried as hostile to God and freedom of religion was pretty much guaranteed.

I guess this is what happens when you don't get the whole story.  I still chaff a bit over a statement by a minister at the meeting as recorded by the update:

“As a pastor, as a parent and as a man of God I am disappointed,” stated Manuel. “I am disrespected and it hurts me. What really hurts me, I understand the laws about church and state, but this is a child.” (emphasis mine)

Manuel went on to state that “maybe if we put God back in schools, maybe we won’t have the problems that we currently have, like babies having babies and kids laying out of school, this is a disgrace.”

First of all, how in the name of Jesus, Mary and Joseph was the PREACHER disrespected by this?!  I'd think if he had to feel disrespected, it ought to be about the fast and loose 9th commandment interpretations being applied in the matter.  As far as the second half ...when he gets around to talking the other 29, 999 denominations (not to mention the +/-20% that don't buy it at all) into excepting which version and how to implement it, he can get back to us ...because we've always had babies having babies and drop-outs.  Your politicization of your religion is the disgrace sir; thank you for putting it on public display though!

I'm sorry, the school may well have erred on the wrong side of this, but the true "PC police" in this matter aren't the "godless liberals" like me.  If people insist on being offended by other people attempting to be less offensive then perhaps you need to remember that golden rule a little bit, because given the level of hostility towards what appears to be a non-existent offended person ...your perception of what you're receiving appears to be exactly what you're dishing out.

Color me impressed

Interestingly enough, I DID get out and vote yesterday and the deciding factor was a robocall from the DNC Monday night.  They reminded where the polling location was and asked to vote Democrat, but above all just VOTE!

So I did.  This may be the only time I've ever actually listened to a robocall all the way through, much less actually been motivated by it...
 
I used the Dallas Morning News online voting guide to pick through my candidates yesterday morning ...I scrolled past name and party and based my vote solely on what they wrote about themselves; this is the same guide I've used since 2004.  This is the first year I've had so few R's, and I certainly had a shit-load more "L's" than I've ever had in the past (talk about a herd of cat's though ...Libertarians are all over the fucking place; some awesome, some tin-foil hat wearing with platforms that read more like manifesto's); oh, and many more D's than usual as well.  One thing I'll never be accused of is not paying attention to individual platform.

Through the last four cycles, I never rewarded a vote to anyone basing their campaigns on their dislike on the CiC; the vitriol towards Obama on the part of some of the candidates cost them a vote ...but after looking at the county website, it would appear that not a single one of my votes that weren't Republican meant much.  Bummer ...when I lived in Dallas county, at least I felt like my vote counted for a bit more, but I'm hardly bitter about it.  Reading through the candidates own words, I'm fairly certain that most people in this county probably vote a straight ticket because some of those "R's" sounded fucking crazy ...and the disclosed campaign dollars painted an even scarier picture.

So I did it and although I mostly call bullshit on the "if you don't vote, you don't have the right to complain" line of thought, I still think it's just lazy.  I don't tend to be exceptionally vocal about politics ...with the exception of my two brothers, nearly all of my family and quite a few of my friends lean hard right Republican.  The "wailing and gnashing of teeth" on Facebook this morning was somewhere in between satisfying and even a little scary.  Same rhetoric as in 08 "OMG, we're a Communist country now!" a lot of genuine fear, a few less than sincere regards about wanting to move to another country, and a few truly despicable remarks basically saying that Democracy is only good when one side wins.  There was even one patently racist remark that was (amazingly enough) called bullshit on by her own Republican friends.

The genuine FEAR from so many of them is pretty scary though.  The accusations of such a negative campaign by Obama didn't really resonate with me.  I've left the TV off for the last few months, but the few times I've had it on, the negative ads weren't by Obama here in the state of Texas.  The bubble that people have been living in has really been pretty amazing; they've been listening only to the people repeating over and over how horrible Obama has been, and they just can't fathom how half the country can't SEE THAT IT'S TRUE!!!  The only problem is ...well, that it just ISN'T true; he hasn't been stellar, but all the dire predictions being repeated are the same ones from '08, and they didn't happen then either.  I ran across this article the other day that really cracked me up:  “This is the most important election of all time!” (again)
 
I really hope that this cycle will at least be the beginning of the end for the religious right in politics.  If anything else, at least it will finally not have rewarded the rantings of people repeating something untrue over and over hoping the repetition will somehow make it true.

I checked the results on my phone last night a few times while watching a bunch of DVR'ed stuff and fell asleep with Romney having a substantial lead.  When I woke up around 10:30 and looked ...I about flew out of the chair to see Obama had already been declared the winner!  I opened the laptop and turned on the TV to Fox news no less.  I really REALLY dislike Fox, but I do have to give them credit for giving VERY evenhanded coverage (although "stunned disbelief" pops into my head as a descriptor of some of the expressions I saw).  Romney was quite classy in his concession speech, Obama gave a nice acceptance speech.  I didn't see it coming, but I gotta say I'm glad to see that it did!

I really hope that the tantrum of the last 4 years will be tiring and maybe both sides will start giving a little bit again.  There's no more second term to worry about trying to prevent now and the hyper-partisan gridlock really doesn't serve a huge political purpose now aside from the 2014 & 2016 elections.  I've said it again and again ...recovery was going to happen no matter who wins; I'm just glad Obama won't be scapegoated for the last 4 years.  On the message boards, the conspiracy nuts are popping up left and right already.

I'm glad Romney didn't make it.  I don't think he'd have been a bad president, but I'm still glad Obama won. I feel bad for many of my friends and family who so strongly think it's the end of the world, but hopefully the echo-chamber thinking will let up a little bit.  Reality isn't always what you wish it was, but it's damned sure the one we're stuck with.  I wish them the best and hope the sour grapes taste fades as soon as possible.

At least one can hope.

pre-D-day

...and here we roll around to November.  Time keeps rolling by and I'm still sitting here in mostly the same spot.

Election day is tomorrow and I still haven't even made up my mind if I'm going to bother voting this year; I imagine that I will, but I'm pretty unenthusiastic about the whole thing since I'm in such a thoroughly red state and my vote counts for exactly zilch (especially in my new county).  To be honest, I'm not convinced that Romney might not actually be a little better off on America as a whole than another 4 years of Obama.  I support him, I think his overall platform is far superior to that of Romney ...but perhaps a single-term black president might not be so bad for a start since (at least here in Texas) what would have been considered tinfoil-hat wearing nuttery ten years ago is actually mainstream and an Obama win would likely throw gasoline on that fire.  A Romney win would at least force people to step back and look at how fucking nutty they've let themselves become.

What's going to happen is going to happen no matter who wins.  We have a pretty huge segment of the population that actually seems to think the world ended four years ago and the Democrats simply haven't noticed.  THAT PERCEPTION is one of the main things keeping the economy from righting itself, and a Romney win would at least assuage that.  If Obama wins again, I figure things will work out then as well ...a screaming tantrum can only last for so long.  I'm simply dumbfounded that even though effectively nothing of what the far right predicted an Obama win in 2008 would lead to has actually happened, they still stubbornly cling to the fantasy that he's a closet terrorist and he only needs a second term for his nefarious plans to come to fruition.  I don't think the tantrum can last another four years before it finally just implodes under the weight of it's own dire predictions that simply aren't happening.

Either way, I think recovery will happen (...or total collapse; I guess it could go either way).  I sincerely doubt which side wins will make much difference in the long run.  If Romney wins, it'll "prove" that Obama policies were a failure (even though they set a framework for what was going to happen regardless).  If Obama wins, the recovery will only be because the Republicans were able to thwart his evil master plan.  Whomever wins this go-round will probably win 2016.

I don't have a horse in the race concerning Roe v Wade; ethically I'm pro-life but realistically pro-choice.  The only thing I know for sure is that if it ever gets reversed, it'll be the Democrats who do it; loss of that wedge-issue would be the death of the GOP.  Women's rights are a non-issue; nothing's going to change no matter who wins.

Since I'm permanently disabled, I guess I'm one of the 47% of the "leeches" that the more hateful elements of the right-wing talk about.  Ironic that it was my work that told me I didn't have any business working first, and it just took the gov't 5 years to agree with them.  I DO have a horse in that race ...finding a job would probably be pretty easy with my knowledge and background; keeping it would be next to impossible.  I tried for three years and was thanked for the effort by shafting me.  Excuse me for having the first hand experience of Uncle Sam being more helpful than the private sector in that matter.  Since there still wasn't any new funding in the programs to help out people like me under Obama, I can hardly sing praises to him on that front.  Living in Texas, I can't fault him for it either though.

Foreign policy is mostly identical with the exception that Romney is slightly more likely to get us into another war.  We'll get through that too.

I just know I'm ready for it to be over with.

where is it going?

Wow, so a whole fucking week into September and I barely even noticed August sneaking by on me.

So yeah, three months without a cigarette (plus a little), two months plus living at Mom's; neither are causing problems, but I still have a ways to go getting used to the latter.  Either everything over the move and stuff has finally caught up with me, or maybe I'm coming down with something, but I've felt like hell most of the week.

Oh wow ...and as to my "Dizzydude" moniker, I guess it's probably worth mentioning a bit about my last doctor visit with a new neuro-otologist.  First doctor ever to actually say the words (not even at the Mayo), but he said it:  "You've suffered a brain injury somewhere down the line."

One of these days I ought to run through my Mayo Clinic observations and such, but one thing that was abundantly clear at the time was that I wasn't given the full spectrum of what was available.  Not that I really think they would have come up with anything different if they had done more ...just that at that particular point in time, they didn't give it their all because I apparently wasn't giving things my own "all."  When I read through the doctor transcripts, it was painfully obvious with two of the doctors since they remarked less about my actual condition and more about how I needed to quit drinking, smoking, and (this one kills me to this day) taking valium.

The valium part really hit hard, because I wasn't even complying with the frequency that the doctor who prescribed it told me to take it.  Drinking and smoking ...yeah, those needed to go and have since gone; drinking is down to practically nothing for nearly three years, smoking on and off for the same amount of time.  Valium usage goes up and down, but I seldom take it more than 2-3 times a week (and that's breaking the pills in half or quarters).  It's the only fucking thing that WORKS even moderately well ...not a single treatment since day one has done anything (and anyone who has spent much time around me knows that I'm NOT "anxious" in the clinical "anti-anxiety" sense that the primary usage of the drug is reserved for).  But the obvious thing when looking at a guy who drinks and smokes is that giving him another drug to be addicted to is probably a bad idea.  In the spirit of the statement, they're probably correct overall.

Apparently the new doc could read the "sub-text" in the doctor notes as well though, and took a bit of interest in the fact that although I had quit all the vices that I had still held onto at the time of the initial Mayo visit, that my reasons for stopping them had absolutely nothing to do with any sorts of "bottom" or any other health-related reason except the mere "it just cost too much freaking money that was better spent elsewhere."  The exception being smoking, but I had even quit that twice for more than six month stretches.  Living with Mom, and Mom having cancer ...starting again just isn't going to happen and I gather the doc realized that as well.

Ah well ...life goes on, but my time on the laptop will not for now.

beginning week six

I don't think there was really all that much doubt about "if" given the circumstances, but I've just completed five weeks without a smoke.  For the most part, I think I'm "there" and once next week is out of the way, then it ought to be interesting to see what kind of new life develops.  It just seems as though "being" a non-smoker will be a whole lot easier once my entire life has a bit of an overhaul.  I was smoking when I moved into the last apartment and this one as well.  It isn't exactly an option at my mother's place.

Last weekend gave me something interesting:  yet another reason to be really glad that I'm getting out of here.  The crazy lady next door came knockin' on the door Saturday night ...drunk again (of course) and as obnoxious as ever.  It was pretty uncomfortable and a bit unnerving towards the end.  My ex had been "that drunk" many a time, and I think I may have even gotten a drunk dial from her once or twice in that kind of shape.  I don't mean to insinuate that it's remotely comfortable with my ex either, but at least I KNOW her though; the fucked-up lady next door who I barely even know coming over personally to subject me to that crap is way out of the realm of reason for me.

I didn't really even invite her in (in fact, I told her she needed to go home and lie down), but she staggered on in anyway and plopped down on the couch.  Amazing thing about how a completely inebriated person operates under the assumption that they are both completely welcome and that other people have the ability to understand what's going on in their drunk little minds.

She creeped me out though ...kept going on about the new owners of the apartments (yep, we were bought out and the new folks aren't making a stellar first impression with much of anyone), about how her kids hate her, about me being an atheist and how at least SHE taught her kids about God (tha part isn't a drunk thing solely; I have WAY too many Christians assume that I know nothing about the religion without knowing a single thing about me, and very seldom do any of them have a clue when they're being offensive).  She had a whole range of stuff she'd go through and then start all over again with the same stuff, the same statements, and all in a dialect of drunken-ese that was almost impossible to follow  ...it was enough to bring PTSD about both my Dad's Alzheimer and my ex with her "crazy drunk stuff" as well.  I tried numerous time to "hint" that she needed to leave, but she was either too dunk to pick up or just too stubborn (honestly, I'm not sure which ...she really did seem to think she was on some kind of mission or something).

Of course she eventually went just a little too far and I told her she needed to leave with no "hints" involved at all.  She went back to my bathroom and then started screeching about her knee ...it was weird as fuck and I know she has some sort of knee injury, but I sincerely doubt that the fuss she was putting up had anything to do with it.  It was probably some sort of weird "give me attention" thing; I would have thought an offer to help her back to her place would be welcome if she had actually hurt herself.  I made the mistake of calling her "Marsha" one of the times I told her she needed to go and she wigged out in a MOST scary kind of way.  The whole "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" probably would have been scary all by itself since it was coming from a virtual stranger, but the snarling rage thrown behind it removed any vestiges of desire to remain civil that I might have had.

I told her it was time to go, and she was outraged.  The whole "You can't make me leave" over and over again had me thinking I was going to have to call the police to get her the hell out of here (the whole "how DARE you tell me to leave" was creepy, but nowhere near as menacing).  Two other kind of scary statements were "do you think I'm dangerous or something?" was kind of scary (the way she said it), but the "I hope you get what you deserve" was the one that probably chilled me the most.  I'm guessing that was her showing her Christian love regarding my atheism, but there's really just no explaining crazy.  Given that last year when she introduced me to her daughter (I was just out walking the dog), the fact that the daughter said "You two take care of each other" led me to believe she probably had built up some sort of "relationship" in her head that we simply don't have if her daughter was making insinuations about our "taking care of each other" when I have actually gone out of my way to avoid the woman since her first drunken incident with me.

Sad to admit that I actually understand "that kind" of crazy, and have even been there (when I was much younger).  I suspect that she's probably harmless, but that still doesn't mean I want a psycho for a next-door neighbor that I have to pretend to tolerate.  I know from experience that the alcohol only amplifies the crazy too.  Honestly, after making such a fool out of herself, she's more than likely is glad to have me leaving as well ...so she'll be able to pretend it was all about me being a jerk to her rather than the other way around (yeah, I understand crazy all right, and that's exactly how it works).

It was actually the dog that finally got her out.  Not directly, but when I opened the door to show her where the exit was, I had to hook the leash on him.  To which she said "Oh, are you taking him for a walk? ...I'll just wait here."

Yeah, she really said that.

I doubt she would have budged if not for him on the leash outside with me right along behind him ...hard to say and she was certainly screeching like a harpy nearly the whole time.  I haven't seen her all week and since tomorrow is the big moving day, I'm hoping I'll be spared completely.  I most certainly won't be missing that kind of thing.

Ah well, I guess it's about time to get moving and start packing up the kitchen.  Hard to believe I will no longer live here by the next entry.

Day Seven

I guess one of the good things about smoking the last cigarette on the last day of the month helps you "keep score" a little bit easier.  I'm doing okay ...I'll be much more impressed at the end of the month, but all in all I think I'm doing well.  I'm beat to hell this morning.  I've put in a solid two days of VERY hard work at Mom's house; I think moving the upright piano all by my lonesome may be a crowing achievement (that may also be where these massive bruises on my arms came from too), but I've sufficiently worked my ass off for the last couple days.  That does wonders for nicotine craving; I hurt a bit too much to even care.  I'm hoping that I don't mess up the right shoulder too much more in all this business, but I could tell last night that I had already done a little bit of damage.

I don't know if it's just plain sad or what (?!), but the pain helps a lot.  The other time that I did a super-serious quit was after the new tax bumped the price of Marlboro's up a buck a pack; I didn't touch a cigarette again until after Dad's funeral, but I don't recall if that was over a year or not.

I've been writing a blog nearly every day except that I'm alternating back and forth between this one and another.  I noticed yesterday that people are actually reading the other blog ...granted it's only a couple of views, but that's still more than I really expected.  In a way, I'm trying to psych myself up to start writing on the actual AFF blog, but I haven't even been willing to read my watched blogs in a few weeks.  Maybe after I'm moved ...but I'm pretty sure that's been the plan all along (as much as you can define what I've got floating in between both brain cells as a "plan" anyway).

I've managed to clean the carpets in four rooms at Mom's as of yesterday; I put support in the attic and rearranged things so I can stash a fair bit of stuff up there now.  I don't really foresee any trouble with getting all I need to up there; maybe even some of the stuff that Mom just can't bear to part with.  I figure next Tuesday once I start moving stuff back into the computer room, we'll be seeing just how much can go in the bookcases; I'm hoping a fair bit will go and that we can even start clearing some stuff Mom has stacked behind the bar in the family room.  Mom figured she's (they've) been there for 18 years, and it's never had a really thorough cleaning in that entire time so we're way overdue.  I'm trying to blow through with a vengeance and clean everything, but theory and practice may be two different things soon.  The nice end of things is that once I do all of the "blowing through" I ought to be able to start keeping it up after I'm moved in, and will probably start policing the clutter as well.  I've gotten so much better about that myself ...I was snickering to myself when I cleared the dining room table about how that was me right up until I moved back to Dallas.  My dining room table is cluttered like crazy right now, but very uncharacteristically so; I seldom to never let things accumulate like they are now (and even now it's all just "pending" stuff that needs to either go to the apartment office, or be filed).  Nothing that will take more than five minutes to clear and put away.

I'm really going to have an interesting transition moving in with Mom.  The worst part will probably simply be that I'll no longer be able (willing, if I want to be honest with myself) to have lady friends over.  The loss of privacy I can almost deal with; it's a big house and I may actually start looking for things to do "out and about" as well as trying to become a little bit more active in a blog ...wherever I may choose to post it.  Cleaning up will be a huge project at Mom's, but I suspect we'll all be happier once it's over with.  Zeke will love having a back yard again, and he'll like the "around the block" walks a lot too!  All in all, I think it's going to be okay.  I just have to keep trying to put it in the perspective of "putting my life on hold for a while" rather than "moving in with Mom."

Now that I'm no longer "tied to the ranch" it'll be kind of interesting.  I keep thinking about the dinner table on that last trip with my sister telling everyone there that I was being "forced" to move in with Mom because of my rent increase.  I can't quite fathom if that was being put out there for Mom's benefit for the most part, but regardless of the reason for stretching it a little bit ...none of the people she was telling it to were getting the whole story.  Both she and her hubby have been pretty quick to only tell the parts of the story that make me look bad ...BIL's best friend has been the best indicator of that for the last year or so.  One thing about a "bro-mance" in action is that the friend says what the other friend doesn't, thinking they're doing them some kind of favor.  I'm sure glad to no longer have to go out there anymore though.  I still have a ways to go on my car, but at least the remaining stuff is well suited to do here.  The next trip out, I'm sure I'll load up some tools and the remaining car parts and paints.

Oh well ...time to start getting ready to head out.  I feel like total crap, but a nice afternoon with my buddy sounds good!

Oh, what a world!

Well, the fifth day without a cigarette is here and I'm managing all right so far.  I've had a few cravings, but nothing I haven't been able to handle with relative ease.  It may or may not get worse around the 10 day mark, it may or may not get worse around the six month mark, it may or may not get worse any given time.  One day at a time ...but once I'm moved in at Mom's, there won't be any more smoking.  period.

Yesterday I managed to look around the web a little bit at motivational stuff for quitting smoking.  I don't really think I was craving or niccing out that badly ...maybe I was just wanting something to get pissed at.  I worry a little bit about how bad I'll be as a room-mate, but it was fairly obvious from browsing "quit-forums" that I would suck in a support group even worse.  When the crazy-lady next door was talking about quitting smoking (actually, I think that may well have been the last time I saw her), she was talking about a book she had just bought on quitting smoking, and it was mostly full of "positive affirmations" to help out.

Sorry, but I'll pit my (admittedly, at the moment quite cynical) "cold turkey" against her "positive affirmations" any day of the week.  I don't know if I can stay quit permanently (one day at a time), but I seriously doubt that she could do it for more than a few days at a time.  She's just a little too much like my ex ...only a lot more of a flake.  The spiritual mumbo-jumbo just doesn't do it for me, but I guess being pissed at something must help at least a little bit.  I guess that just keeping busy may be the best thing all the way around for me.

So today is going to be a pretty heavy work-day for me.  Here in a bit, I'm going to need to jump off the computer and start doing a walk around the apartment and either start boxing stuff that will need to go in the attic at Mom's, or just be lazy and grab the already boxed stuff like all of my old comic books.  I'm torn about packing those up to the attic or putting them in the closet in my bedroom ...it seems like the heat may be a bit much in the attic, but that sure didn't stop me when I was living at Randy's, so I probably shouldn't let it stop me here either.  The closet in my room is pretty good-sized though.

Today makes the first of five weeks I'll have to carry things back and forth.  I really have no idea what sort of rhyme or reason I'll attempt to use when deciding what to do and when, but I'm pretty sure things will kind of organize themselves once I actually get moving.  I fucking hate moving; aggravating to realize I'll be doing it again most likely in the next two years.  Aggravating that I only had a year here, but still better that I found out soon enough to get out when it was still beneficial for both Mom and I.

If they had given me a reasonable lease renewal, I would have signed it without giving it a second thought.  I guess that will wiggle around in the back of my head quite a bit, probably for the rest of my life.  I don't have much issue with being a slightly superstitious and definitely less than consistent atheist.  I see no fucking "hand of God" that my sister spoke of here; I wrestled with the idea of moving in with Mom last year as well, and were her health not getting more and more frail then I likely either would have swallowed the rent increase or just found another less expensive place.  I guess that being both a minister's kid as well as the eternal skeptic these days, I can't help but to think about it from both angles.

Spiritual angle:  lease is up, mother's health is getting frail, apartments screw around with the lease making it the decision to move in with the ailing mother a hell of a lot easier.  The timing was ideal.

Skeptic angle:  I read the reviews before moving in, and the apartments haven't done anything that I wasn't thoroughly warned about before I ever signed on the dotted line (four out of five reviews said "great neighbors, suck-ass management").  The timing isn't ideal, it's merely beneficial. Had they upped the lease the same time as Mom gotten sick, had a stroke, fallen down and hurt herself ...now THAT would have been slightly more "ideal" than Mom being tired out all the time.  The sad truth is that she probably needed the help last year as well, but just wasn't bad enough to justify it to herself.

When Mom was originally diagnosed, she showed a problem with a broken chromosome.  Later on in all the treatment, the evidence of the broken chromosome no longer showed up in any of the tests.  My sister jumped on the "It's a MIRACLE!" bandwagon, and even started on a "...my God has the biggest dick of all, and he cured my Mom of a broken chromosome!" tirade that even my brother expressed some confusion over.

Wow.  Well, whatever floats your boat, but if there's really some all powerful entity out there that likes your simpering adoration and listens to your prayers ...I think I'd rather he made some change that would have at least some remote effect on her treatment or life expectancy.  She's terminally fucking ill, and a chromosomal defect doesn't really mean shit when stacked up next to the Amyloidosis and Multiple Myloma.  Show me a cure for the two things that are actually killing her if you want me to be impressed.

I have a rare blood condition ...if it suddenly just went away in a poof (and given that it was never really all that consistent in the three times it was tested, it wouldn't even surprise me if it was suddenly gone); I still wouldn't consider any fucking miracles since it would have absolutely no effect at all on the shit that keeps me from having what might be deemed as a "normal" life.

Ah well ...time to get moving and boxing.  Coffee is almost done and the dog is complaining, so it's off to work I go!

Keep on movin'

It seems I've lost three more neighbors just in the immediate "circle around the pool" area that I actually see when I'm walking the dog.  I'm starting to think they really are going to be looking at an occupancy problem soon.  Something occurred to me this morning that has niggled in the back of my mind a lot, but jumped to the forefront all of a sudden.

The "market value" for the apartments is too high.  One of the leading complaints in the online reviews of the apartment complex is the fact that they have a mandatory $40\mo fee for cable television.  They don't consider it part of the rent, yet they give no choice in opting out of the fee.  They were up-front with me about the fee when I moved in and I honestly didn't care that much; apparently they haven't been quite as up-front with other people though.  I just consider it part of the rent ...even when I was looking at other apartments I was subtracting the amount I pay for cable here to the rent elsewhere when considering pricing elsewhere since there isn't any way I would pay for cable by choice no matter where I went.  They can do all the mental gymnastics they want to justify it, but if I have to add that amount as part of the rent when considering other apartments, then it is part of the rent.  I guess that only the people who intend to purchase cable regardless would consider it separately.

I ran into the "pretty couple" last night when I was taking the mutt for his beddy-bye walk.  I'm really pretty fuzzy-headed, but I guess next time I see them, I might have to ask for clarification.  I think they may have gotten a pretty huge renewal rate on their lease as well though.  It's hard to say for sure because they did something else that I'm just a little bit too familiar with; now that they know I'm an atheist, they've taken it upon themselves to start acting all Christian-like around me.

I never fail to be amazed that I can walk into a bar and strike a conversation with almost any drunk who might cheat you, rob you, curse you, or whatever under normal circumstances ...but they will suddenly become all about "the love of God" when they find out you're an unbeliever.  It's the same in everyday life ...people whom it would never even occur to to mention religion, suddenly become all about it when they find you don't ascribe to it.  I really liked the "pretty couple" ...shame that if they feel some sort of need to suddenly start preaching to me or "provide an example" ...I'll likely just start avoiding them.  If something as an example is dependent on being pointed out, then it isn't an example at all ...it's just an act.

I think of my last job and my ethical structure on what I would charge for.  I was apparently considered to be some sort of super-Christian; I might bring up atheism in conversation, but never really linked my ethics with any philosophical stance on deities.  When the cat got out of the bag, the two main outspoken Christians had their worlds thrown for a loop upon discovering that an "evil atheist" had a stronger work ethic than they did (bear in mind that these people had known me for quite a few years and that the subject of religion had simply never come up).  Average hours billed by every technician was posted every week; it was the two outspoken Christians that I saw a marked drop in average hours after they found I was an atheist (I'm talking about a 20-30% drop).  To be honest, I never actively paid all that much attention to how many hours other people billed ...but one of the two outspoken types had to point out how he had cleaned up his act on his billing.

The above is what I mean about an example being dependent on pointing it out.  The fact that I refused to double bill, or charge for something I either didn't do or only did half-ass enough to justify charging for it, was never an issue with anyone until that fine day when someone in a group meeting remarked about my being a good Christian, and I simply corrected them.  If someone called a Christian a good Muslim in a public setting, I'm pretty sure they'd feel the need to point out they aren't Muslim.  The point is that I never particularly cared much about what people thought about my average hours.  It provides no positive example to me when someone feels a need to point out how their ethics have changed only after being shamed by nothing other than a person not sharing their belief structure having a stronger work ethic.  It may be heartfelt, but it's still just an act as far as I'm concerned.  Ironic that the other outspoken Christian still remains what I consider to be a very positive example of his faith.  He adjusted himself and felt no need to point it out to me ...he only talked religion nominally more than he ever did before and remained pleasant to be around.  He was a nice guy who never felt the need to point out how nice he was in order to make some sort of point.  His life was the point, and I'm pretty sure that's how the bible says you are supposed to be.

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.  -James 3:13

I found that verse just with a little google search; my memory really isn't good enough to pull anything like that out of my ass anymore; it was actually the "lamp under the bushel" parable that immediately jumped to mind.  The light I see shining from most Christians I know is hardly something to be proud of.  I think the above said it a little better for my purposes though:  if it's only being done to show somebody else, then it hardly comes from a place of humility.

Oh well, that was hardly a tangent I meant to go off on.  A guy suffering his third day of nicotine withdrawal is hardly on any moral high ground although it does help explain why his mind is all over the place.

This coming week is liable to be busy.  I took the first load of stuff from my closet to Moms on Friday:  four CPU's that were gathering dust in my closet (most of which probably needs to just be thrown out).  I plan to make another such run on Tuesday although I haven't decided exactly what to take just yet.

I have a second car now; I've actually had it for years, but I've just finished making it legal to drive again.  The story isn't something I'll really want to go into here except for the sense of utter relief I have regarding no longer having it at my sister and BIL's (where it's been for nearly the last three years).  I still have a bit of work to do on it ...the big one right now revolves around replacing the rear hatch seal.  I hope to check around a little bit in the morning and see if anyone reasonably nearby might have one.  If I could change it out tomorrow that would be great, but I'm fine with waiting until Thursday or the weekend if need be as well.  Either way, I plan to be driving it after Tuesday on at least a semi-permanent basis.  I may or may not hit the car with some rubbing compound and a buffer while I'm there on Tuesday; it looks okay, but could sure use at least a little bit of improvement.

The main focus on Tuesday will simply be to get started on the steam cleaning.  Odds are good that I'll want to go back on Wednesday.  We'll see what I feel like then I guess.

stick a fork in me, I think I'm done for the day.

Moving right along

Yesterday I was speaking to one of the other tenants I've known since the day I moved in; he had nothing but good to say about the place when we first met.  When I told him that I was going to be moving out in July (putting him up to exactly the second person I've told) due mostly to the increase in rent, he said "yeah, this place has a bad habit of doing that kind of thing, but they usually only do it every two years or so."  He also mentioned that he doubted he'd be staying another year (although I got the impression that  he'd probably signed a lease at least somewhat recently); he thought his rent was a bit high for the apartment he was in.

I seem to recall him telling me that he's lived here for about eight years.  I was REALLY surprised when he told me that he's actually paying $50 a month more than I am for the identical apartment.  I guess that information can lay to rest the entire notion that what they did to me was even remotely personal.  When I moved in, my rent was indeed the market value ...if I go to the apartment hunting websites, I see the increase on rent from what it was a year ago.  The neighbors length of stay confirms that they raise rent according to market value, but they certainly don't decrease it when values are down.

Yeah ...moving if definitely the correct decision if that's the standard here, and apparently it is.  This makes the fourth place I've rented in the last (wow!) 25 years, and all of them were really consistent in lease renewals.  I seem to recall that in Denton, the apartments were going for nearly $200 a month more than I was paying after almost 10 years there.  I guess it's like I said before ...such a shame to find such a nice neighborhood and a place I really like only to have it messed up by what is probably just overly greedy management who cares more about squeezing the most they can out of tenants rather than maintaining a high occupancy rate and retaining quality people.  The neighbor I spoke of above admitted that another guy I know who used to live here and visits a fair bit moved over an extremely high rent increase himself.  He said once that moving from here was probably one of the worst mistakes he's made, but I think he moved to a pretty scary place.

I guess you can overlook a fair bit when you aren't on a fixed income and are in a decent neighborhood.  That doesn't make it right, but I guess it makes sense in a weird kind of way.

Onward...

I've been spending a fair bit of time looking at Mom's house and trying to figure out what needs to be done to get me in.  Poor Mom ...she admitted to me last night that the house hasn't had a thorough clean up done since the mid-nineties.  When Dad was healthier, the place stayed a lot cleaner (when MOM was healthier, it stayed a lot cleaner); but it's really just too much for her now.  I'm going to have my work cut out for me in the coming month(s).

The carpeting probably needs to be replaced, but it's never been cleaned beyond vacuuming (and I suspect Mom hasn't been able to comfortably vacuum in at least a year).  I bought a carpet cleaner when I moved out of the last place and I suspect it'll be getting a lot of use soon.  As of last week, my plan was to do one room at a time over the next month, but I'm adjusting that idea to doing two rooms at a time.

The good news is that I think everything will move in fine, provided I get rid of my couch, coffee table, bed, desk and chest of drawers (maybe ...probably).  I really don't foresee any issues with getting everything to FIT, it's just the logistics that really suck.  That, and the fact that I'll more than likely be sick for quite a while afterward.  I'm moving from here after only a year, and the initial move in knocked me out of much of anything for two or three months.

Sometimes I really just don't like admitting that my health issues are broader than I really want them to be.

well ...crap!

I really did love my new (well, coming up on a year) apartment; nice neighbors, little to no crime, nice place with a great floorplan and great view of the pool from my patio.  ...and yet I have to move.  AGAIN!

The last place might not have been so bad if it hadn't been for the rampant crime; having your door kicked in twice and your stuff stolen twice has a way of really making you think about risk.  This place has been wonderful that way ...the problem this time around is that I probably should have been a little more concerned about the management.

After the second burglary, I spent a lot of time looking at places.  I used three different websites to research and also checked the crime rates in the neighborhoods.  My budget is tight beyond belief, but I was willing to stretch things a little bit in order to have a place to stay that I didn't get a sinking feeling in my stomach every time I had to leave for a few days.  The place I'm currently in had one huge demerit going for it; the website apartmentratings.com had a majority dim view of the complex, but the complaints all centered around the management.  Now ...I realize that you just can't please everyone, and most of the time I'm pretty decent about picking up on people that just want to complain.  A number of the complaints were about poor maintenance, but since I'm pretty big on handling most issues myself, I let those slide.  To the apartments credit, I have nothing but good things to say about maintenance here ...I had a couple of issues, but never had to wait more than a few hours rather than days or weeks like my old place.

The complaint that I suppose I should have given a little more weight to was some of the less than ideal tactics used by the management.  The big one most brought up in the reviews was that the base rent was low, but they added on a ton of extra charges.  True enough ...all the little miscellaneous things added about $60 to the base rent.  Plus for the management ...they were completely honest about that right up front with me at least.  Many of the others complained that the deposit guidelines were a little too harsh and that you shouldn't count on getting it back if you moved.  That part remains to be seen with me, but I don't really doubt it much.  When I moved in, they gave me an itemized list of what they charge you for if you don't do them when you move ...$20 for removing any shelving paper, $10 for not cleaning the sink; mostly silly little stuff that although is easy enough to do when anyone leaves, but should be a part of prepping the place for a new tenant anyway.  The list merely told me that they could be petty and I wasn't really all that intimidated.  To be honest ...I was so impressed with the place, I didn't see myself moving anytime soon anyway.

So the straw that broke the dizzydude's back?  ...upon the completion of the first years lease, they raised the rent by $60/month for the next lease.  When I first got the letter, I thought it was a typo!  The next day I went to the office and asked; the lady looked it up on the computer and said the amount was correct and that it was the current market value for the apartment.  True as well, and rent is up all over the place.  I would think that a disabled guy on a fixed income who didn't even meet the income requirements to begin with, but is by most criteria an ideal tenant, would have gotten a reasonable renewal rate though.  Current market value is one thing for new tenants, but it seems to me like keeping your good tenants would include keeping the lease rates at least somewhat consistent.

A part of me really wants to think that there must be some ulterior motive for wanting to get rid of me, but nothing about the behavior of the staff would seem to support that theory.  I would think that looking at the tenants income would be a part of the process; I missed the income requirement by $50/month coming in, and raising it to $110 over that just seems to be a bad idea.  They seemed genuinely surprised when I turned in the notice to vacate though.  Granted, they didn't care enough to make a case to the higher-ups for lowering my renewal rate, but even they remarked on how much they hated to lose me.  When I moved in, that sort of thing wasn't a complaint, but apartmentratings has three semi-recent reviews of people having outrageous renewals as well.  It wasn't JUST me, so it makes me wonder a little bit.

I guess that despite my disappointment and anger, it might be better that I found out NOW rather than later in any case.  If I can't count on reasonable renewals, and certainly if they're going to start making a habit out of simply trying to get the same amount out of an old tenant as they can get with a new one, then I probably just don't need to be living here.  It sure seems like a poor management decision, but given the amount of negative reviews about the management ...maybe that's all it is.  There was a tragedy at one of the other units nearby recently, and another tenant told me that the residents were moving out in droves as a result (including him, although he simply requested relocating to my unit).  If they're dealing with an occupancy problem as well though, it would seem taking the chance on losing more occupants with high renewals would be twice as bad.

I suppose that there may be a little bit of "providence" here.  My mother's chemotherapy is starting to take a heavy toll on her; her energy level continues to drop and the big house she's in is getting to be a bit too much for her to keep up on her own.  This was actually a consideration when I was looking for a place last year as well, but her general health was much better then and she wasn't thrilled with the thought of a "room-mate" at that time.  She was quite FOR the idea this time around though, and that says quite a bit about how she must be feeling.

Shortly after getting the "sorry, but this is the best we can do" news from the office, I did a bit of half-hearted looking around at apartments elsewhere, but a part of me kind of knew what the best option was going to be for both my mother and myself.  My credit card debt is just this side of outrageous, and it's risen over the last year almost in direct proportion to what the increase in rent was between my old apartment and this one (yeah ...there's a major clue).  Living with her for a while would be a great way to make a years worth of really monster payments and try to knock it down to a reasonable level if not out completely (preferable, although I'm not sure if it's feasible).

It'll be an adjustment for both of us, and it's going to be a lot of work just to DO the move in the first place.  I've managed to accumulate a lot of junk over the years and could stand a lot of improvement in getting rid of it, but I'm a rank amateur compared to my mother.  Both of us are going to have to do a serious inventory of our belongings and see what can realistically be thrown out.  I plan to get rid of most of my furniture and will probably do a pretty large "cleansing" of computer junk that's way out of date.  She's managed to hang onto most of her books and schoolteaching stuff although she hasn't taught in 25 years.  She also has most of the furniture we had when I was a kid ...scary!

We'll see how the next month goes and hopefully I'll be picking up on a little more writing in the meantime; when I'm stressed out, that often seems to go along with it.  Weird that after moving into a nice neighborhood with great neighbors, if anything I've gotten less social.  I suspect it has more to do with the fact that I've had almost no disposable income anymore though.

Oh well ...enough writing for now; I have chores to do before heading up to visit Mom and check out the attic for space.

Ghosts, and a few words on atheism

I guess that perhaps I get a touch of "seasonal affective disorder" around this time of year and get into a bit of a slump. I suppose the Christmas season hits me harder than usual on the whole "religion" subject, so I tend to surf around forums and read what other people have to say about religion and such. I was always a notorious "people-watcher" back in the days when I was a little more able to be around more "chaotic" environments; I suppose the surfing is an offshoot of that same thing in a way my health is a little more able to tolerate. I seldom make comments anymore ...the "need" to debate about my own beliefs (and lack thereof) is largely a thing of the past. I don't know if it's more because I'm just tired of beating my head into a wall, or just that I'm secure enough in what I don't believe in that I no longer feel much of a need to try to broadcast (or defend) it.

I have to admit that over this particular season, I've had a lot more "aha!" moments when pondering the subject and actively looking at other points of view though. It's only been in recent years that I've finally started to self-identify as an atheist ...but only when the topic isn't able to be ducked for the most part. I get a kick out of all the "definition dictators" out there when it comes to atheism, and I guess that after learning that the terms "atheism" and "agnosticism" not only aren't mutually exclusive, but actually come from the root words "theist" and "gnostic," I finally relented and started identifying myself as an atheist if asked. Not that I didn't "know" this before; it was just one of those "aha!" moments I was talking about.

There seems to be a lot of cognitive dissonance out there about what an atheist is, even among other atheists. It actually came as a surprise to me that there were actually atheist's out there that actively believe that there is no god(s); it was even more of a shock to learn that my oldest brother is one of those people. This knowledge was remarkable to me because it legitimized to me that the theist's argument that atheism "can be" (although a theist generally prefers to use the word "is" instead of "can be") an actual belief system in itself. I'm sure it comes as an equal surprise to a strong theist that most atheist's do not actively believe there isn't a god; we merely don't actively believe in any of the various ones that we've been exposed to.

I guess it's like talking about UFO's (as in spacecrafts from other worlds visiting our own, not flying objects that you can't identify); if you ask a person if they "believe in" UFO's, and they say no ...does it make any sense at all to start railing about them about how can they possibly believe that all the people who claim to have seen them are liars or simply delusional? If a person says they don't believe in UFO's, it's probably more a matter of the person never having seen one (or known anyone who has) simply suspends belief until they see something convincing to the contrary. I doubt that very many people would categorically state that there is no such thing as a UFO (and I may well be wrong on this), only that they've never seen anything convincing enough to persuade them to actively believe in them. I don't think it would be too far off to say that the larger number of atheists feel the same way towards theism in general.

I don't think that's really the best analogy, but it's the best I can come up with right off the bat (maybe "Bigfoot" or the "Loch Ness Monster" might have been a little closer to the point I was trying to make than UFO's). I don't believe in ghosts personally, but my best friend claims to have seen one once and I have no reason whatsoever to disbelieve his claim; that doesn't mean by default I suddenly believe in ghosts either though. My friends experience was about as undramatic as it can get; he said that he simply woke up one night and there was a face hovering above him in his bed. He said that once the initial shock wore off, he simply went into a sort of "wow, am I really seeing this?" mode, then the face faded away (never to return). He said he didn't think he was dreaming because he got out of bed and walked around a little bit to see if it would come back. From his experience, he thinks there may be such thing as ghosts, although he still won't categorically state that there was no other possible explanation either. I should state for the record that my friend is 82, and the experience he had took place nearly 30 years ago. He's simply "been around long enough" to know that one instance that never repeated itself doesn't constitute "proof" ...he merely views it as an incident that he can't logically explain.

This is another point of the cognitive dissonance I was speaking of before. I don't actively disbelieve in my best friend's account; it's merely a matter of needing to experience something similar myself and it has absolutely no reflection whatsoever on him at all. We've talked about it on numerous occasions, and I doubt it would even occur to him that it even could be a reflection on what I think of him.

I should mention another anecdotal account of ghosts that I have to grudgingly admit does somewhat reflect on my perception of the person it came from. My sister and brother in law told me of their own supernatural experience, and it wasn't so much the story itself as the parts that got left out in the original telling of it (a problem that I frequently have with his story-telling). Initially, the story was that on their wedding anniversary, they stayed the night in a hotel that it turned out was haunted and so they had to find another hotel. What got left out of the initial telling of the story was that they specifically chose a "haunted" hotel from either a brochure or website, went there and specifically asked for the "most haunted" room there. They went out for dinner, came back and my sister found some items that were in her suitcase in the bathroom and she was absolutely sure that she didn't put them there, so OMG ...GHOSTS!!! They immediately checked out of the hotel given the solid PROOF that the place was actually haunted. This is kind of mean, but I really have to qualify this story; my BIL believes that ghosts are actually demons just pretending to be ghosts (maybe my sister does too ...I've no inclination to even ask).

When they first told the story (sans the fact that they specifically went to a tourist attraction "haunted" hotel), I really had to suppress a giggle. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why a few things moving from her bag constituted a "paranormal experience" since I know my family a little bit TOO well, and we all have memories like swiss cheese. She and her hubby are extreme-right evangelical Christians though, and I try to make a practice of just keeping my damn mouth shut when they spout off stuff that runs so far off my radar that even remarking about feels beneath me. This was one of those times. Later on (like a year or two later) when they told the same story but admitted it was a "haunted hotel" listed in "most haunted" (whatever the source was), I finally got the context. Their account is the kind of "anecdotal evidence" that I find laughable, whereas at least my best friends account is at the very least plausible. Had I suggested that maybe since they went to a haunted house expecting to be haunted and were actively looking for something to be afraid of (or heaven forbid, the owners of the place might have moved stuff around while they were out to dinner), they would most certainly have taken it as a personal attack. There's certainly something to the old "you can choose your friends, but not your family" adage.

This is a trap that I see a lot of theist's fall into towards the atheist community (if you could even call us a "community"); they perceive our lack of belief as some sort of attack on them personally (or on theism in general). I may address the validity of this somewhere down the line, because from their viewpoint the idea isn't completely out in left field; it's just my belief that they have the cause and effect a little skewed.

I think that's all the patience I have for writing at the moment, so I think it's time to get off the computer and start considering dinner.