Day Seven

I guess one of the good things about smoking the last cigarette on the last day of the month helps you "keep score" a little bit easier.  I'm doing okay ...I'll be much more impressed at the end of the month, but all in all I think I'm doing well.  I'm beat to hell this morning.  I've put in a solid two days of VERY hard work at Mom's house; I think moving the upright piano all by my lonesome may be a crowing achievement (that may also be where these massive bruises on my arms came from too), but I've sufficiently worked my ass off for the last couple days.  That does wonders for nicotine craving; I hurt a bit too much to even care.  I'm hoping that I don't mess up the right shoulder too much more in all this business, but I could tell last night that I had already done a little bit of damage.

I don't know if it's just plain sad or what (?!), but the pain helps a lot.  The other time that I did a super-serious quit was after the new tax bumped the price of Marlboro's up a buck a pack; I didn't touch a cigarette again until after Dad's funeral, but I don't recall if that was over a year or not.

I've been writing a blog nearly every day except that I'm alternating back and forth between this one and another.  I noticed yesterday that people are actually reading the other blog ...granted it's only a couple of views, but that's still more than I really expected.  In a way, I'm trying to psych myself up to start writing on the actual AFF blog, but I haven't even been willing to read my watched blogs in a few weeks.  Maybe after I'm moved ...but I'm pretty sure that's been the plan all along (as much as you can define what I've got floating in between both brain cells as a "plan" anyway).

I've managed to clean the carpets in four rooms at Mom's as of yesterday; I put support in the attic and rearranged things so I can stash a fair bit of stuff up there now.  I don't really foresee any trouble with getting all I need to up there; maybe even some of the stuff that Mom just can't bear to part with.  I figure next Tuesday once I start moving stuff back into the computer room, we'll be seeing just how much can go in the bookcases; I'm hoping a fair bit will go and that we can even start clearing some stuff Mom has stacked behind the bar in the family room.  Mom figured she's (they've) been there for 18 years, and it's never had a really thorough cleaning in that entire time so we're way overdue.  I'm trying to blow through with a vengeance and clean everything, but theory and practice may be two different things soon.  The nice end of things is that once I do all of the "blowing through" I ought to be able to start keeping it up after I'm moved in, and will probably start policing the clutter as well.  I've gotten so much better about that myself ...I was snickering to myself when I cleared the dining room table about how that was me right up until I moved back to Dallas.  My dining room table is cluttered like crazy right now, but very uncharacteristically so; I seldom to never let things accumulate like they are now (and even now it's all just "pending" stuff that needs to either go to the apartment office, or be filed).  Nothing that will take more than five minutes to clear and put away.

I'm really going to have an interesting transition moving in with Mom.  The worst part will probably simply be that I'll no longer be able (willing, if I want to be honest with myself) to have lady friends over.  The loss of privacy I can almost deal with; it's a big house and I may actually start looking for things to do "out and about" as well as trying to become a little bit more active in a blog ...wherever I may choose to post it.  Cleaning up will be a huge project at Mom's, but I suspect we'll all be happier once it's over with.  Zeke will love having a back yard again, and he'll like the "around the block" walks a lot too!  All in all, I think it's going to be okay.  I just have to keep trying to put it in the perspective of "putting my life on hold for a while" rather than "moving in with Mom."

Now that I'm no longer "tied to the ranch" it'll be kind of interesting.  I keep thinking about the dinner table on that last trip with my sister telling everyone there that I was being "forced" to move in with Mom because of my rent increase.  I can't quite fathom if that was being put out there for Mom's benefit for the most part, but regardless of the reason for stretching it a little bit ...none of the people she was telling it to were getting the whole story.  Both she and her hubby have been pretty quick to only tell the parts of the story that make me look bad ...BIL's best friend has been the best indicator of that for the last year or so.  One thing about a "bro-mance" in action is that the friend says what the other friend doesn't, thinking they're doing them some kind of favor.  I'm sure glad to no longer have to go out there anymore though.  I still have a ways to go on my car, but at least the remaining stuff is well suited to do here.  The next trip out, I'm sure I'll load up some tools and the remaining car parts and paints.

Oh well ...time to start getting ready to head out.  I feel like total crap, but a nice afternoon with my buddy sounds good!