social statements and giving birth to a couch

Well, at least I've FINALLY got my new place completely furnished! I've kind of waited for that "perfect storm" of events to converge; when one is specifically looking for a FREE couch, that can often be no mean feat (especially since I don't have a pickup). So, I've been diligently searching the "free" section of Craigslist; I've had a few nibbles, but logistics have proven to be the hardest part. I think I've seen an average of 4 a day hit the list, and it seems like the ones that have looked pretty good tend to be gone in the time it takes me to "rally the troops" to get it.

Well, I had THOUGHT that "perfect storm" finally fell into place yesterday. A listing came up and I was on it within minutes of the posting; the picture looked nice ...I called my brother (with the pickup) and had him go to the listing to see if he'd be available to help, and if he thought it would make the turn to get it into the living room. I gave the girl a call, and I was actually the first call on it (she also assured me that it was indeed "standard-sized")! So far it's looking good, although the brother and I still had a few reservations about the size. I decided to go ahead and drive up to Denton and have a look, and my brother says he needed a little while to get ready, but he'll meet me there with the truck.

Sounds great, huh?! ...well, as in life; there is something to be said about "the best laid plans of mice and men." This is where the "perfect storm" downgraded to a bit of a drizzle (maybe even a light mist). About 5 miles out of Denton, the call comes in from my brother; my sister in law had been napping while we were talking before, and she *ahem* "reminded" him that they had plans for the evening. OOPS!!! (...and in my case, a few choice obscenities muttered under my breath).

All isn't lost though; the upside is that he's more than happy to leave me the keys to his truck as long as he can use my car to go to work the next day! I get to the gals apartment, have a look, and the couch looks fine! Perhaps a little worn in spots, but hey ...it's FREE! I explain the logistical difficulties that have arisen; that I'd need to run to Southlake to get the truck, and she was fine with that. She was a cute 'lil thing, and told me that she and her Mom had moved the thing INTO the apartment themselves, and felt pretty confident that she could help me load it (whew).

So far so good. I zoom down to Southlake, drop the car off and get the pickup ...drive back up. Sure enough, she and I were able to get it loaded with no problems. Her parting words were to the effect of "good luck with getting it UNloaded!" (it wasn't sarcasm, she was really sweet) But yeah. I HAVE the damn thing now, but absolutely nobody to help me unload it ...and one slightly gimpy person can't exactly get a full-sized couch navigated into a really uber-tight place without a bit of help, right?!

Well, a completely sane person probably wouldn't have even TRIED, but well...

Then there's me.

C'mon ...it's less than 20 feet from the parking lot to my front door (never mind the small narrow stairs I have to go up with the rails on either side); I can DO it! I guess I'll have to watch Youtube to make sure no hidden fuckers filmed me, although I suspect it might be kind of amusing if they did. What I find most amazing of all is that I actually managed to do it without any tears or stains that didn't wipe right off with a soapy rag. I made it in the door, slid it across into the kitchen, tried to angle it back around for the turn into the living room...

...and it wouldn't make the turn. AND my adrenaline rush began fizzling partway through the ordeal.

I began looking at the couch in a new light, and pondering the "social statement" that might be made by having a couch in a narrow kitchen. Sure, so I can't get the refrigerator door open all the way, but maybe that can be part of my "statement!"

I'm protesting lousy government by putting a couch in my kitchen!!!!

Shit, I wouldn't exactly fall for that one either. So I sat down to rest for a while and ponder: What kind of social statement can I make up to justify having a couch in my kitchen?! Damn!

A few hours pass by, and I just can't come up with anything that will sound remotely believable, so dammit ...I guess I'm just going to have to figure out a way to get the damned thing into the living room (besides, I need unfettered access to the beer; a guy has to have priorities!).

I tried turning the thing in every conceivable angle, measured, pushed, grunted, groaned ...probably even invented a few interesting new curses along the way. I'd really like to think if I had another person helping that the laws of physics might have changed a little bit and an extra dimension would have opened up to make that sucker fit through, but I really don't know; all I know for sure is that there was no way on the green earth that sucker was going to make that turn with just me doing it.

Now ...I wouldn't exactly call the hole in the wall between the kitchen and my dining room a "bar" by any definition. For those who read the previous post about my skills in the kitchen, it might be better described as more of a "goober viewing hole" to a victi ...I mean, recipient of my kitchen offerings while I'm "cooking." But I got out the measuring tape anyway. Without giving the measurements, I can tell you without a doubt that it is EXACTLY the same size as my couch, and when I say exactly ...I MEAN exactly! I even had to take out the light fixture over the sink, but that sucker squeezed through without a millimeter to spare!

I kinda wish I had filmed it; the "kitchen gives birth to a couch" video might have been a real hit! I'm almost left to wonder if that opening was even there until the first tenant tried to get a frickin couch in here (could that understated smell be black powder?)! ...but it's in, and the muttifer is absolutely ecstatic with it! He barely even let me get the cushions on before claiming as his own (although he's pretty generous about sharing it at least).

So now I'm furnished at last; I'll need to find an endtable or two somewhere down the line, but it looks pretty good! The next "project" will be getting up pictures, and do a bit more basic organizing that I've been holding off on until I had a basic layout, but the worst is finally over.

In other news, I think I have some new upstairs neighbors. Either that or they've just been really, REALLY quiet up to now, but just got a pet elephant.