yet another crossposting

PROFILING IS WRONG!!!!

I was listening to an old "Ron White" stand-up the other day where he was talking about getting pulled over for a DWI, and thought he should contest it because he later found out they were pulling over every car that was driving down that particular sidewalk, and PROFILING IS WRONG!!!!

But regardless, I guess it was about time I got around to rewriting my damned profile here! After I got moved back up, the creative juices were being a bit slow in getting started up, so the meager profile changes I did make were pretty lame in my opinion. I think this one sounds at least a little better, and hopefully with a little something to piss off everybody. Gals, please give me an opinion (about the profile I mean; I'm really getting tired of those "you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny" opinions *sniffle*); you all know how I love to ignore constructive criticism!

I even snapped a few new lame pictures of myself to toss up just so I could say I have some recent ones; I was going to take a few of my little dick, but Zeke wouldn't have any of it and just shot me the paw when the camera turned his way (...what a little DICK!).

Honestly, I've actually always kind of liked writing these silly profiles ...mostly just because I really *am* a devout member of that Church of "not-giving-a-shit-ism." When I find myself writing something overly serious in an online dating profile, I generally try to catch myself before it gets too out of hand. In fact, I don't really even tend to gravitate towards online profiles of people that appear to take themselves a bit too seriously (unless it says something to the effect of "I seriously want a tall skinny middle-aged geeky guy to have my way with" in it somewhere). Of course, I really just can't fathom building up any kind of expectation of meeting a "soul-mate" online. Don't get me wrong ...I'm not to be saying it can't or doesn't happen; I just don't understand the "having expectations" part, though. I should think the primary object, especially in a place like this, is just to have a little bit of fun and if you end up being the couple in the "after" picture, then so much the better! (how very "zen" of me)

So anyhoo... that was almost too close to seriosity for me. I tried to touch on a few of the things that irritate me in other people profiles; namely using that fucking "suggestions" options, but I have a few other things that I tend to avoid as well.

Too much hostility. Yee-ouch! If you use more than a single line talking about your shitty exes, then I'm sorry, but you scare the hell out of me! There is also a certain level of lack of tolerance for dick-pics that I find understandable, but if half of your profile is dedicated to how much you hate them ...meh, then we may have problems. Not because "well, yer on an ADULT site, waddaya expect?!" ...but just because if you spend TOO much time complaining in your profile about stuff you don't like, it just makes you sound bitchy. (besides; bitching is what the blogs are for!)

CB 2 was talking about a friend of hers that has wildly unrealistic expectations in a relationship, so they never get started ...and when I read anything mentioning a search for that "Knights in Shining Armor" I tend to run the other way. Yikes! ...an overabundance of unicorns and/or butterflies in the background often has the same effect.

When I first began getting settled in and finding a few ounces of spare time, I sent out a few feeler messages. I really have to make a bit of an admission here to blogland: I'm pretty spoiled. Without fail, nearly every single message I send to a fellow blogger gets returned; the one that doesn't get returned is actually the rarity. It does happen from time to time, but for a guy on this website, a 90% return rate is pretty fucking awesome!

But local gals without blogs *whistle* ...anyone want to guess?! Out of perhaps a grand total of 15 feeler notes I sent out, I got a whopping ONE reply (and it never panned out).

...to be honest, it was actually one more reply than I actually expected. What is it with chicks around here about indulging a guys fetish with Brazilian midget porn, anyway?! I know that many girls can't be allergic to Crisco!!!

Okay, I'm kidding (well, sorta ...an friend of mine recently signed on here, and I sent her her first "wanna fuck" e-mail the other day)! I actually do well with getting messages and seldom have to blow the cobwebs out of the inbox, although there is a marked lack of indecent proposals (hint hint). Gotta love the blogs though; I have the best readers anywhere!