More energy on e-crushes, and less thought on the blog I guess; I'm glad I wrote today's last night. I think I'm finally starting to get past my initial shock with Domino; we'll see if/when she writes. Is the infatuation because she is so frickin' cute, because I like her writing, or because she obviously seems to like me and mine?! ...and this begs the question of course, as to how in the world can I be acting like this when I've only known her a couple of days.
Absence will do wonders for me I bet though ...given that today is her birthday, I bet it will be tomorrow before I hear from her. If she writes to my regular e-mail, then I guess I can start tying myself into knots again but geez. Get a grip dude, it's only been a few days!
The hours are creeping by here with Dad; he actually seems to be a little bit better today at least. He's actually working in his puzzle book a little bit, and he's actually been watching tv for a change.
interesting.
Even more interesting is that I sat down and wrote something kinda poetic yesterday ...I had hope in mind, not anything directly with me (at least, I don't think so). I hadn't thought of Valort in years, but it helps to have a nice fake name so I can put "plausible deniability" in place at least.
For all our days of living blue
ignoring ways the heartache grew
we ventured gave and lost anew
yet still it seems astounding
When all we wish is touch of bliss
the smell of past will sound amiss
the sight of truth so tastes of piss
we trick ourselves to trusting
Ignoring help the godless sends
awaiting crime despairing mends
the last past time that present rends
to pieces neverlasting
While other ways we flaunt our dreams
in spite of all our thought it seems
no matter what the heart may scream
the silence is exhausting
-Reyd Valort
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
first date follies
So let me see. I keep thinking of one of my fellow bloggers on AFF whose page header states "Come to the dark side ...we have cookies!"
So now I get to write a rather dark blog. damn ...and I do try to avoid this sort of thing, but I guess I just want to work it out of my system a little bit.
So I had a date last night with a fellow (local) blogger ...we went to see the new Batman on IMAX! I can tell you loosely that it was a great movie, but only in kind of a general way. I'll go into that a bit more later.
The date went so-so ...I find myself wanting to make a few excuses about my behavior, but let's just say I wasn't an "ideal" date by any stretch. Had I not bought the tickets way in advance, I probably would have done the rain check thing because I really haven't been feeling all that up to snuff all week even. I saw my therapist yesterday, and she even thought I would have done myself a favor to cancel for the date.
Like I said, I already had the tickets though, and we already had to put it off once due to not being able to get tickets last weekend.
I'm irked even more that I probably appeared quite "normal" to her, although certainly far from the same guy she was expecting from my blogland "persona." I'm sure part of this is just me beating on myself a little bit because I perceive myself as being a little worse company than I could have/should have been. I doubt it though.
Now I really expected for the movie to knock my dizziness way into high gear; the last time I did IMAX ...Linda about had to carry me out in a teacup. Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D had me down for DAYS afterward. About the only thing I could figure with how well I did with "Dark Knight" was that perhaps I just had SUCH a sensory overload, my brain just wasn't able to process very well, so I didn't get "stuck" in anything. Who knows?! My illness is such a fucking mystery to everyone, about the only thing consistent about it is the inconsistency.
Point is, I don't remember all that much about the movie today. Talk about a WTF moment for a guy who is used to having an almost photographic memory in bygone years. I know that when my dizziness kicks in, other areas suffer ...speech and short term memory are the most common things; my speech often gets pretty "slurry" when I have really bad spells, and my cognitive abilities often go out the window. I'm just really having a hard time with THIS one though ...I don't recall my memory ever taking such a huge hit without my dizziness being off the charts as well. The movie itself has an almost dreamlike quality today; VERY weird!
As for the date itself; D was very sweet! We are at polar opposites on the political spectrum though. Sweet though she may be, she really isn't someone I would "hang with" under normal circumstances (and I guess first dates help us figure that out, so it wasn't a total washout in that regard). I was a bit horrified when we met at the theater to find that I had a REALLY bad case of bad breath, and no breath mints in site (I really thought about going to find something at the candy counter, but finding a good seat in the IMAX is so difficult as it is; I didn't want to get up for much of anything short of a fire! I beat her there by a full half hour, and passed the time idly chatting with the two ladies sitting beside me. Fun times!
The movie was good, although the IMAX was a bit overwhelming (even D mentioned that she had to look away quite often). After the movie, we tried driving around a bit to find a decent place to eat, but since neither of us was exceptionally familiar with the area, we ended up just settling on Whataburger.
This is where things went downhill. D doesn't like to discuss politics ...and for good reason. For one, she's a hell of a lot smarter than I am on the subject and 2 ...she's more the type who is all about totally free-market. I know quite a few like that, and no matter what well thought out the arguments are that I hear on it ...I just don't buy them. They sound great in theory, but I just don't see it working in actual practice (and the die-hard folks do an apologetic tap-dance that Christian apologetics would be proud of). I truly believe that our current administration is letting big oil pull pretty well all the strings in government & energy policy. I just HAD to go there ...and it didn't go over well. She knows politics ...I know alternative energy and engineering. She thinks big oil is an unfairly persecuted business ...I named off two alternatives that are not only economically viable and available ...but cheaper as well.
She called it conspiracy theory, but admitted she didn't know enough about it to come up with a good response.
And it probably didn't help that I may have sounded like a crazy person, and didn't take her cues to shut the fuck up about it.
*sigh*
Well, that there won't be a second date is a given ...and BOTH of us will be fine with that. But still. I need to drop her an e-mail or something and apologize, but I'm not quite sure how to do it.
what to say.
blah!
I think I feel a good drunk coming on tonight.
So now I get to write a rather dark blog. damn ...and I do try to avoid this sort of thing, but I guess I just want to work it out of my system a little bit.
So I had a date last night with a fellow (local) blogger ...we went to see the new Batman on IMAX! I can tell you loosely that it was a great movie, but only in kind of a general way. I'll go into that a bit more later.
The date went so-so ...I find myself wanting to make a few excuses about my behavior, but let's just say I wasn't an "ideal" date by any stretch. Had I not bought the tickets way in advance, I probably would have done the rain check thing because I really haven't been feeling all that up to snuff all week even. I saw my therapist yesterday, and she even thought I would have done myself a favor to cancel for the date.
Like I said, I already had the tickets though, and we already had to put it off once due to not being able to get tickets last weekend.
I'm irked even more that I probably appeared quite "normal" to her, although certainly far from the same guy she was expecting from my blogland "persona." I'm sure part of this is just me beating on myself a little bit because I perceive myself as being a little worse company than I could have/should have been. I doubt it though.
Now I really expected for the movie to knock my dizziness way into high gear; the last time I did IMAX ...Linda about had to carry me out in a teacup. Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D had me down for DAYS afterward. About the only thing I could figure with how well I did with "Dark Knight" was that perhaps I just had SUCH a sensory overload, my brain just wasn't able to process very well, so I didn't get "stuck" in anything. Who knows?! My illness is such a fucking mystery to everyone, about the only thing consistent about it is the inconsistency.
Point is, I don't remember all that much about the movie today. Talk about a WTF moment for a guy who is used to having an almost photographic memory in bygone years. I know that when my dizziness kicks in, other areas suffer ...speech and short term memory are the most common things; my speech often gets pretty "slurry" when I have really bad spells, and my cognitive abilities often go out the window. I'm just really having a hard time with THIS one though ...I don't recall my memory ever taking such a huge hit without my dizziness being off the charts as well. The movie itself has an almost dreamlike quality today; VERY weird!
As for the date itself; D was very sweet! We are at polar opposites on the political spectrum though. Sweet though she may be, she really isn't someone I would "hang with" under normal circumstances (and I guess first dates help us figure that out, so it wasn't a total washout in that regard). I was a bit horrified when we met at the theater to find that I had a REALLY bad case of bad breath, and no breath mints in site (I really thought about going to find something at the candy counter, but finding a good seat in the IMAX is so difficult as it is; I didn't want to get up for much of anything short of a fire! I beat her there by a full half hour, and passed the time idly chatting with the two ladies sitting beside me. Fun times!
The movie was good, although the IMAX was a bit overwhelming (even D mentioned that she had to look away quite often). After the movie, we tried driving around a bit to find a decent place to eat, but since neither of us was exceptionally familiar with the area, we ended up just settling on Whataburger.
This is where things went downhill. D doesn't like to discuss politics ...and for good reason. For one, she's a hell of a lot smarter than I am on the subject and 2 ...she's more the type who is all about totally free-market. I know quite a few like that, and no matter what well thought out the arguments are that I hear on it ...I just don't buy them. They sound great in theory, but I just don't see it working in actual practice (and the die-hard folks do an apologetic tap-dance that Christian apologetics would be proud of). I truly believe that our current administration is letting big oil pull pretty well all the strings in government & energy policy. I just HAD to go there ...and it didn't go over well. She knows politics ...I know alternative energy and engineering. She thinks big oil is an unfairly persecuted business ...I named off two alternatives that are not only economically viable and available ...but cheaper as well.
She called it conspiracy theory, but admitted she didn't know enough about it to come up with a good response.
And it probably didn't help that I may have sounded like a crazy person, and didn't take her cues to shut the fuck up about it.
*sigh*
Well, that there won't be a second date is a given ...and BOTH of us will be fine with that. But still. I need to drop her an e-mail or something and apologize, but I'm not quite sure how to do it.
what to say.
blah!
I think I feel a good drunk coming on tonight.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
"A Fucked-up Mind" starring: ???
Once upon a time, GM wrote a thingamajig online about the nature of "altruism." I just don't know if I buy into the whole concept; no matter how selfless an action a person may be doing, there is almost always a selfish motive for doing so.
The old classic is the person jumping into traffic to push a kid out of the way of an oncoming truck and being hit themselves.
The response is that the person probably never could have looked at themselves in the mirror again if they thought they could have done something and didn't. There tends to be selfish motives underneath even the most altruistic of acts is the point; this isn't being said to minimize the actions of those altruistic "heroes" ...merely an interesting way of viewing it from another angle.
I'm slowly beginning to wonder if I may have been wrong on my initial premise there though.
Most of the folks who have known me on here for a while know that I take care of my father 2-3 days a week, and he has Alzheimers. I don't often like to talk about this much because I don't really care that much for any "attaboys" for what I do; in fact, most days when I with him I can almost get wood while fantasizing about being the dude with the old man in the "Bring out your Dead" skit in "Monty Python & the Search for the Holy Grail." ...so please spare me the accolades. I'm honestly a bad, bad person, really I am!!!!
To tell the truth though, I'm quite patient with him most of the time. He has almost zero short term memory, and it's quite often like listening to a broken record. Since my own attention span tends to be roughly equivalent to that of a turnip most days (sorry turnips), I can generally handle him with a modicum of tact.
Other days I just want to scream.
First of all, one has to bear in mind that my father has always been a bit of a prick. ...and now with the Alzheimers in play, he's kind of the prick times 100. Of all the annoying crap that he did all his life, now he does it over and over with no idea he just did/said exactly the same thing approximately 93.2 seconds ago. Most of the time he is fairly easily distracted with find-a-word puzzles, but more and more in recent months he's been approaching his find-a-words like Russell Crowe attacked his cryptography in "A Beautiful Mind." Somehow they have become a thing of earth-shattering importance that MUST be checked and double checked by someone else IMMEDIATELY.
Oh ...and of course it is NEVER a "hey, could you check this?!" ...more of a "CHECK THIS NOW" kind of thing. The upside is that you can almost literally tell him to fuck off and he won't remember it 5 minutes later; the downside is that he doesn't remember he's already asked 13 times in the last hour either. VERY frustrating at times!
His mother had just about the same thing that he has and I'm honestly hoping he doesn't hang on as long as she did. Dad was such a jerk with his mother, it almost seems like Karma that he is in the same boat; perhaps that may even be part of my hidden selfish motivations for helping to take care of him. I think it's almost a foregone conclusion that he wouldn't have wanted to die like he's going to. yuck ...brutal fucking disease for sure.
*sigh* ...more another time.
The old classic is the person jumping into traffic to push a kid out of the way of an oncoming truck and being hit themselves.
The response is that the person probably never could have looked at themselves in the mirror again if they thought they could have done something and didn't. There tends to be selfish motives underneath even the most altruistic of acts is the point; this isn't being said to minimize the actions of those altruistic "heroes" ...merely an interesting way of viewing it from another angle.
I'm slowly beginning to wonder if I may have been wrong on my initial premise there though.
Most of the folks who have known me on here for a while know that I take care of my father 2-3 days a week, and he has Alzheimers. I don't often like to talk about this much because I don't really care that much for any "attaboys" for what I do; in fact, most days when I with him I can almost get wood while fantasizing about being the dude with the old man in the "Bring out your Dead" skit in "Monty Python & the Search for the Holy Grail." ...so please spare me the accolades. I'm honestly a bad, bad person, really I am!!!!
To tell the truth though, I'm quite patient with him most of the time. He has almost zero short term memory, and it's quite often like listening to a broken record. Since my own attention span tends to be roughly equivalent to that of a turnip most days (sorry turnips), I can generally handle him with a modicum of tact.
Other days I just want to scream.
First of all, one has to bear in mind that my father has always been a bit of a prick. ...and now with the Alzheimers in play, he's kind of the prick times 100. Of all the annoying crap that he did all his life, now he does it over and over with no idea he just did/said exactly the same thing approximately 93.2 seconds ago. Most of the time he is fairly easily distracted with find-a-word puzzles, but more and more in recent months he's been approaching his find-a-words like Russell Crowe attacked his cryptography in "A Beautiful Mind." Somehow they have become a thing of earth-shattering importance that MUST be checked and double checked by someone else IMMEDIATELY.
Oh ...and of course it is NEVER a "hey, could you check this?!" ...more of a "CHECK THIS NOW" kind of thing. The upside is that you can almost literally tell him to fuck off and he won't remember it 5 minutes later; the downside is that he doesn't remember he's already asked 13 times in the last hour either. VERY frustrating at times!
His mother had just about the same thing that he has and I'm honestly hoping he doesn't hang on as long as she did. Dad was such a jerk with his mother, it almost seems like Karma that he is in the same boat; perhaps that may even be part of my hidden selfish motivations for helping to take care of him. I think it's almost a foregone conclusion that he wouldn't have wanted to die like he's going to. yuck ...brutal fucking disease for sure.
*sigh* ...more another time.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
and another
...Inside the mind of a woman
I was be-bopping down memory lane the other day when going through a box of stuff, and came across something that made me think of a friend of mine, and one of my first glimpses into the mind and heart of a woman.
Sometimes I think you wonderful creatures were placed on this earth just to fuck with us though; I really do!
She was a good friend and a bartender at the little neighborhood bar I hung out in from time to time; for the sake of anonymity, I'll call her "K." She had been telling me for weeks about a friend who was coming in from out of town to visit; the friend had just gone back home after a three day visit and she had peechures to share!
Now her friend, she always told me, could almost be the twin sister of one of our mutual friends from school, "J." Cool ...J was a good friend of mine as well, and a really smokin' hot tall skinny blond at that. So when I came into the bar that night, K pulled out her pictures from the weekend adventures, I was a bit surprised at the pictures of her friend ...I REALLY just couldn't see the similarity to J at all; even after K exclaimed about how in one or two of the pictures, she almost could mistake her for J! Hey ...maybe the light was wrong (...because there WAS light?!), but I just couldn't any resemblance past the fact that they were both blond. No kidding ...I was an art major for Pete's sake!!! ...the facial structures were completely different, completely different builds ...since I had never met the friend, I couldn't judge personality, but I saw almost NO physical resemblance at all (not to be saying she wasn't cute as hell ...just not J)!
Well, I had known K long enough to know when to keep my mouth shut, unfortunately she had also known ME long enough to catch the look on my face, or in my eye ...whatever. But she saw something there, and wanted to know what I thought of her friend.
Me: She's really pretty!
K: ...isn't she though; and she looks SO much like J, it blows me away!
Me: mmm okay
K: you don't think she looks like J?
Me: I guess I just don't really see the resemblance ...J is a lot skinnier and at least 6 inches taller.
K: oh ...okay (putting pictures away)
(wow ...is that a cold breeze I feel?! the door isn't open is it? ...wait, that's right, this is summer in Texas and we've only a few degrees difference than the surface of the sun, so what's up here?!!)
So the evening moves on a bit, and K seems ...well ...distant. She and I have known each other for a few years ...and sometimes for good or ill, I always found it easiest to just wait and let her speak up when she was good and ready. In retrospect, and had I known what was coming I might have just gone ahead and moved to Siberia right then, but I guess this was one of life's lessons I just needed to learn. (even if 15+ years later, I still haven't quite figured out the "moral" yet *sigh*)
K came over after a bit and kind of snuggled in next to me, and looked up at me with those sad little doe eyes and asked me THOSE five words we guys SO absolutely hate to hear, because we are just SO fucked every time they issue from you gal's mouths:
"Do you think I'm fat?!"
I almost wish I could make a good attempt at describing K's personality, but let's just say the guy next to me nearly spit his drink all over the bar. The only thing really going through my head was "where in the fuck did THAT come from?!"
Well, for starters K wasn't even CLOSE to being "fat" even by any way-out anorexic's definition; she had humongous boobs ...but was very trim and athletic in her build; she easily could have been a model. So I was a BIT boggled by the question even.
Actually, I think it might even be fair to say she might as well have hit me in the stomach with a 2x4! And being the big dumb guy that I am, perhaps I sounded a little platitude-ish in my rushed and I'm sure garbled gibberish response. Lol ...looking back on it, if there was any hesitation in my answers, it was merely because I was in shock about being asked in the first place!
But she seemed to accept this, and went back to work ...but it still seemed awfully damned chilly in the room. (there is an old proverb about never pissing off a female bartender lest you find a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary ...and this was kinda how I felt).
So a bit more time passes, I manage to slam down a few more drinks ...and then she comes back over, and now the anger seems to be shining through a little bit. ...and I cringe.
She starts telling me about working out, and she's only size whatever the fuck ...what exactly is it about her that *I* think it is that makes her look fat?!
So now, we finally get down to the "logic" of the whole matter. Apparently, I think her FRIEND is fat, and since the two of them are about the same build and weight, then I MUST by default think SHE's fat TOO!
Anyone ever seen the old Cronenberg movie "Scanners" from back in the early 80's where the guys head explodes?! ...I think that was me about now.
Where in the hell did this come from?!
...apparently since I think that J is "skinnier" than the friend, then the friend must indeed be fat. ...furthermore, as said above, since the friend and K are roughly the same build, then I must also believe K is "fat" as well. (I actually HAVE been guilty of overusing that "compared to" scale a few times, but THIS one was ridiculous!)
perfect logic. What the hell had I been thinking... *sigh*
Wish I could come up with the "happy ending" for this tale. lol! I think I just scraped my brains off the walls and went home with that vacant expression favored by victims of shock. Her BF (also a school buddy) came over to my apt later that night and was asking what the fuck it was that I had said to her that had her in such a twist, and then he promptly about fell out of the chair laughing when I told him! (I seem to recall a "boy I'm sure glad that was you instead of me" in there somewhere)
I guess he had the brains to tell her they looked like twins!!!
I was be-bopping down memory lane the other day when going through a box of stuff, and came across something that made me think of a friend of mine, and one of my first glimpses into the mind and heart of a woman.
Sometimes I think you wonderful creatures were placed on this earth just to fuck with us though; I really do!
She was a good friend and a bartender at the little neighborhood bar I hung out in from time to time; for the sake of anonymity, I'll call her "K." She had been telling me for weeks about a friend who was coming in from out of town to visit; the friend had just gone back home after a three day visit and she had peechures to share!
Now her friend, she always told me, could almost be the twin sister of one of our mutual friends from school, "J." Cool ...J was a good friend of mine as well, and a really smokin' hot tall skinny blond at that. So when I came into the bar that night, K pulled out her pictures from the weekend adventures, I was a bit surprised at the pictures of her friend ...I REALLY just couldn't see the similarity to J at all; even after K exclaimed about how in one or two of the pictures, she almost could mistake her for J! Hey ...maybe the light was wrong (...because there WAS light?!), but I just couldn't any resemblance past the fact that they were both blond. No kidding ...I was an art major for Pete's sake!!! ...the facial structures were completely different, completely different builds ...since I had never met the friend, I couldn't judge personality, but I saw almost NO physical resemblance at all (not to be saying she wasn't cute as hell ...just not J)!
Well, I had known K long enough to know when to keep my mouth shut, unfortunately she had also known ME long enough to catch the look on my face, or in my eye ...whatever. But she saw something there, and wanted to know what I thought of her friend.
Me: She's really pretty!
K: ...isn't she though; and she looks SO much like J, it blows me away!
Me: mmm okay
K: you don't think she looks like J?
Me: I guess I just don't really see the resemblance ...J is a lot skinnier and at least 6 inches taller.
K: oh ...okay (putting pictures away)
(wow ...is that a cold breeze I feel?! the door isn't open is it? ...wait, that's right, this is summer in Texas and we've only a few degrees difference than the surface of the sun, so what's up here?!!)
So the evening moves on a bit, and K seems ...well ...distant. She and I have known each other for a few years ...and sometimes for good or ill, I always found it easiest to just wait and let her speak up when she was good and ready. In retrospect, and had I known what was coming I might have just gone ahead and moved to Siberia right then, but I guess this was one of life's lessons I just needed to learn. (even if 15+ years later, I still haven't quite figured out the "moral" yet *sigh*)
K came over after a bit and kind of snuggled in next to me, and looked up at me with those sad little doe eyes and asked me THOSE five words we guys SO absolutely hate to hear, because we are just SO fucked every time they issue from you gal's mouths:
"Do you think I'm fat?!"
I almost wish I could make a good attempt at describing K's personality, but let's just say the guy next to me nearly spit his drink all over the bar. The only thing really going through my head was "where in the fuck did THAT come from?!"
Well, for starters K wasn't even CLOSE to being "fat" even by any way-out anorexic's definition; she had humongous boobs ...but was very trim and athletic in her build; she easily could have been a model. So I was a BIT boggled by the question even.
Actually, I think it might even be fair to say she might as well have hit me in the stomach with a 2x4! And being the big dumb guy that I am, perhaps I sounded a little platitude-ish in my rushed and I'm sure garbled gibberish response. Lol ...looking back on it, if there was any hesitation in my answers, it was merely because I was in shock about being asked in the first place!
But she seemed to accept this, and went back to work ...but it still seemed awfully damned chilly in the room. (there is an old proverb about never pissing off a female bartender lest you find a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary ...and this was kinda how I felt).
So a bit more time passes, I manage to slam down a few more drinks ...and then she comes back over, and now the anger seems to be shining through a little bit. ...and I cringe.
She starts telling me about working out, and she's only size whatever the fuck ...what exactly is it about her that *I* think it is that makes her look fat?!
So now, we finally get down to the "logic" of the whole matter. Apparently, I think her FRIEND is fat, and since the two of them are about the same build and weight, then I MUST by default think SHE's fat TOO!
Anyone ever seen the old Cronenberg movie "Scanners" from back in the early 80's where the guys head explodes?! ...I think that was me about now.
Where in the hell did this come from?!
...apparently since I think that J is "skinnier" than the friend, then the friend must indeed be fat. ...furthermore, as said above, since the friend and K are roughly the same build, then I must also believe K is "fat" as well. (I actually HAVE been guilty of overusing that "compared to" scale a few times, but THIS one was ridiculous!)
perfect logic. What the hell had I been thinking... *sigh*
Wish I could come up with the "happy ending" for this tale. lol! I think I just scraped my brains off the walls and went home with that vacant expression favored by victims of shock. Her BF (also a school buddy) came over to my apt later that night and was asking what the fuck it was that I had said to her that had her in such a twist, and then he promptly about fell out of the chair laughing when I told him! (I seem to recall a "boy I'm sure glad that was you instead of me" in there somewhere)
I guess he had the brains to tell her they looked like twins!!!
Friday, July 18, 2008
yet another crossposting
PROFILING IS WRONG!!!!
I was listening to an old "Ron White" stand-up the other day where he was talking about getting pulled over for a DWI, and thought he should contest it because he later found out they were pulling over every car that was driving down that particular sidewalk, and PROFILING IS WRONG!!!!
But regardless, I guess it was about time I got around to rewriting my damned profile here! After I got moved back up, the creative juices were being a bit slow in getting started up, so the meager profile changes I did make were pretty lame in my opinion. I think this one sounds at least a little better, and hopefully with a little something to piss off everybody. Gals, please give me an opinion (about the profile I mean; I'm really getting tired of those "you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny" opinions *sniffle*); you all know how I love to ignore constructive criticism!
I even snapped a few new lame pictures of myself to toss up just so I could say I have some recent ones; I was going to take a few of my little dick, but Zeke wouldn't have any of it and just shot me the paw when the camera turned his way (...what a little DICK!).
Honestly, I've actually always kind of liked writing these silly profiles ...mostly just because I really *am* a devout member of that Church of "not-giving-a-shit-ism." When I find myself writing something overly serious in an online dating profile, I generally try to catch myself before it gets too out of hand. In fact, I don't really even tend to gravitate towards online profiles of people that appear to take themselves a bit too seriously (unless it says something to the effect of "I seriously want a tall skinny middle-aged geeky guy to have my way with" in it somewhere). Of course, I really just can't fathom building up any kind of expectation of meeting a "soul-mate" online. Don't get me wrong ...I'm not to be saying it can't or doesn't happen; I just don't understand the "having expectations" part, though. I should think the primary object, especially in a place like this, is just to have a little bit of fun and if you end up being the couple in the "after" picture, then so much the better! (how very "zen" of me)
So anyhoo... that was almost too close to seriosity for me. I tried to touch on a few of the things that irritate me in other people profiles; namely using that fucking "suggestions" options, but I have a few other things that I tend to avoid as well.
Too much hostility. Yee-ouch! If you use more than a single line talking about your shitty exes, then I'm sorry, but you scare the hell out of me! There is also a certain level of lack of tolerance for dick-pics that I find understandable, but if half of your profile is dedicated to how much you hate them ...meh, then we may have problems. Not because "well, yer on an ADULT site, waddaya expect?!" ...but just because if you spend TOO much time complaining in your profile about stuff you don't like, it just makes you sound bitchy. (besides; bitching is what the blogs are for!)
CB 2 was talking about a friend of hers that has wildly unrealistic expectations in a relationship, so they never get started ...and when I read anything mentioning a search for that "Knights in Shining Armor" I tend to run the other way. Yikes! ...an overabundance of unicorns and/or butterflies in the background often has the same effect.
When I first began getting settled in and finding a few ounces of spare time, I sent out a few feeler messages. I really have to make a bit of an admission here to blogland: I'm pretty spoiled. Without fail, nearly every single message I send to a fellow blogger gets returned; the one that doesn't get returned is actually the rarity. It does happen from time to time, but for a guy on this website, a 90% return rate is pretty fucking awesome!
But local gals without blogs *whistle* ...anyone want to guess?! Out of perhaps a grand total of 15 feeler notes I sent out, I got a whopping ONE reply (and it never panned out).
...to be honest, it was actually one more reply than I actually expected. What is it with chicks around here about indulging a guys fetish with Brazilian midget porn, anyway?! I know that many girls can't be allergic to Crisco!!!
Okay, I'm kidding (well, sorta ...an friend of mine recently signed on here, and I sent her her first "wanna fuck" e-mail the other day)! I actually do well with getting messages and seldom have to blow the cobwebs out of the inbox, although there is a marked lack of indecent proposals (hint hint). Gotta love the blogs though; I have the best readers anywhere!
I was listening to an old "Ron White" stand-up the other day where he was talking about getting pulled over for a DWI, and thought he should contest it because he later found out they were pulling over every car that was driving down that particular sidewalk, and PROFILING IS WRONG!!!!
But regardless, I guess it was about time I got around to rewriting my damned profile here! After I got moved back up, the creative juices were being a bit slow in getting started up, so the meager profile changes I did make were pretty lame in my opinion. I think this one sounds at least a little better, and hopefully with a little something to piss off everybody. Gals, please give me an opinion (about the profile I mean; I'm really getting tired of those "you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny" opinions *sniffle*); you all know how I love to ignore constructive criticism!
I even snapped a few new lame pictures of myself to toss up just so I could say I have some recent ones; I was going to take a few of my little dick, but Zeke wouldn't have any of it and just shot me the paw when the camera turned his way (...what a little DICK!).
Honestly, I've actually always kind of liked writing these silly profiles ...mostly just because I really *am* a devout member of that Church of "not-giving-a-shit-ism." When I find myself writing something overly serious in an online dating profile, I generally try to catch myself before it gets too out of hand. In fact, I don't really even tend to gravitate towards online profiles of people that appear to take themselves a bit too seriously (unless it says something to the effect of "I seriously want a tall skinny middle-aged geeky guy to have my way with" in it somewhere). Of course, I really just can't fathom building up any kind of expectation of meeting a "soul-mate" online. Don't get me wrong ...I'm not to be saying it can't or doesn't happen; I just don't understand the "having expectations" part, though. I should think the primary object, especially in a place like this, is just to have a little bit of fun and if you end up being the couple in the "after" picture, then so much the better! (how very "zen" of me)
So anyhoo... that was almost too close to seriosity for me. I tried to touch on a few of the things that irritate me in other people profiles; namely using that fucking "suggestions" options, but I have a few other things that I tend to avoid as well.
Too much hostility. Yee-ouch! If you use more than a single line talking about your shitty exes, then I'm sorry, but you scare the hell out of me! There is also a certain level of lack of tolerance for dick-pics that I find understandable, but if half of your profile is dedicated to how much you hate them ...meh, then we may have problems. Not because "well, yer on an ADULT site, waddaya expect?!" ...but just because if you spend TOO much time complaining in your profile about stuff you don't like, it just makes you sound bitchy. (besides; bitching is what the blogs are for!)
CB 2 was talking about a friend of hers that has wildly unrealistic expectations in a relationship, so they never get started ...and when I read anything mentioning a search for that "Knights in Shining Armor" I tend to run the other way. Yikes! ...an overabundance of unicorns and/or butterflies in the background often has the same effect.
When I first began getting settled in and finding a few ounces of spare time, I sent out a few feeler messages. I really have to make a bit of an admission here to blogland: I'm pretty spoiled. Without fail, nearly every single message I send to a fellow blogger gets returned; the one that doesn't get returned is actually the rarity. It does happen from time to time, but for a guy on this website, a 90% return rate is pretty fucking awesome!
But local gals without blogs *whistle* ...anyone want to guess?! Out of perhaps a grand total of 15 feeler notes I sent out, I got a whopping ONE reply (and it never panned out).
...to be honest, it was actually one more reply than I actually expected. What is it with chicks around here about indulging a guys fetish with Brazilian midget porn, anyway?! I know that many girls can't be allergic to Crisco!!!
Okay, I'm kidding (well, sorta ...an friend of mine recently signed on here, and I sent her her first "wanna fuck" e-mail the other day)! I actually do well with getting messages and seldom have to blow the cobwebs out of the inbox, although there is a marked lack of indecent proposals (hint hint). Gotta love the blogs though; I have the best readers anywhere!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Killer Cockers and Killjoys
I was thinking about another event at that job that is probably worthy of retelling (I hate to actually say the name of the major retailer I worked at for 10 years of my life, but it rhymed with "Montgomery Ward Automotive").
We had a salesman there that was a little bit on the odd side, and most of us had a lot of fun fucking with him ...and he was just so damned easy to fuck with, too (he really did have a good sense of humor about it though)! I worked a graveyard shift once for approximately 3 months; I can't say as I really remember much about it because I was so zombified all the time ...but this salesguy (I'll call him "CK") had worked graveyard his entire career up to coming to work at Wards. Graveyard folks are really quite the little subculture; CK never really could get back into the swing of actually sleeping at nights, so maybe that contributed to his oddness a little bit.
One morning CK came in and he was absolutely FURIOUS about something that had happened to him that morning (night?!). He had gone to the post office at like 2AM to drop some bills in the mail or something, and when he was walking back out to his car, the "event" occurred.
A dog ...a really big Rottweiler was in his owners pickup with the windows rolled down. Now CK was kinda scared of dogs; petrified by them actually. I don't think the poor guy could really fathom the fact that dogs can sense that kind of thing. Now of course, I'll never really know the whole story ...only what he told everyone; but I'll try to make the long story a bit shorter.
1) He sees dog unattended in pickup with windows down and freezes.
2) Dog sees him freaking out and jumps out of the window to go see what's up.
3) He runs and the dog follows, cornering him in and empty parking spot between two parked cars and the wall.
4) Owner comes out and calls the dog, horrified CK is so freaked out and can't apologize enough.
Okay, a few key points. CK came right out and said the dog never growled or snapped ...HE told us the owner said the dog was very friendly and had never done anything like that before. HE admitted to freaking out FIRST, and that running may not have been the wisest idea.
BUT ...he was still just absolutely PISSED at the owner of the dog for having the windows down. He threatened to call the cops, and said that dog "might have really hurt someone" ...and he just went on and on about how he chewed the poor guy out. The dog owners present were largely telling him they thought perhaps he over-reacted a bit TOO much ...but CK was still pissed as hell, and there wasn't much of anything anyone could do or say. ...and ol CK was telling EVERYONE about it, too! Every time I turned around, he was regaling someone new with the story.
About lunchtime, the next shift came in, and I had just finished my car and was about to head to lunch ...I walked through the breakroom to the bathroom and there was CK going into the story for the 75th time to all the guys on the late shift.
...as I was walking through, I shouted over my shoulder "Hey guys! ...Hey CK ...are you telling that Cocker Spaniel story again?! ...or has it grown to a ROTTWEILER by now?!"
As the door slammed behind me, I heard a room full of guys nearly falling out of their chairs they were laughing so hard. CK opened the door ...flipped me off, and stormed out!
I'm so bad.
We had a salesman there that was a little bit on the odd side, and most of us had a lot of fun fucking with him ...and he was just so damned easy to fuck with, too (he really did have a good sense of humor about it though)! I worked a graveyard shift once for approximately 3 months; I can't say as I really remember much about it because I was so zombified all the time ...but this salesguy (I'll call him "CK") had worked graveyard his entire career up to coming to work at Wards. Graveyard folks are really quite the little subculture; CK never really could get back into the swing of actually sleeping at nights, so maybe that contributed to his oddness a little bit.
One morning CK came in and he was absolutely FURIOUS about something that had happened to him that morning (night?!). He had gone to the post office at like 2AM to drop some bills in the mail or something, and when he was walking back out to his car, the "event" occurred.
A dog ...a really big Rottweiler was in his owners pickup with the windows rolled down. Now CK was kinda scared of dogs; petrified by them actually. I don't think the poor guy could really fathom the fact that dogs can sense that kind of thing. Now of course, I'll never really know the whole story ...only what he told everyone; but I'll try to make the long story a bit shorter.
1) He sees dog unattended in pickup with windows down and freezes.
2) Dog sees him freaking out and jumps out of the window to go see what's up.
3) He runs and the dog follows, cornering him in and empty parking spot between two parked cars and the wall.
4) Owner comes out and calls the dog, horrified CK is so freaked out and can't apologize enough.
Okay, a few key points. CK came right out and said the dog never growled or snapped ...HE told us the owner said the dog was very friendly and had never done anything like that before. HE admitted to freaking out FIRST, and that running may not have been the wisest idea.
BUT ...he was still just absolutely PISSED at the owner of the dog for having the windows down. He threatened to call the cops, and said that dog "might have really hurt someone" ...and he just went on and on about how he chewed the poor guy out. The dog owners present were largely telling him they thought perhaps he over-reacted a bit TOO much ...but CK was still pissed as hell, and there wasn't much of anything anyone could do or say. ...and ol CK was telling EVERYONE about it, too! Every time I turned around, he was regaling someone new with the story.
About lunchtime, the next shift came in, and I had just finished my car and was about to head to lunch ...I walked through the breakroom to the bathroom and there was CK going into the story for the 75th time to all the guys on the late shift.
...as I was walking through, I shouted over my shoulder "Hey guys! ...Hey CK ...are you telling that Cocker Spaniel story again?! ...or has it grown to a ROTTWEILER by now?!"
As the door slammed behind me, I heard a room full of guys nearly falling out of their chairs they were laughing so hard. CK opened the door ...flipped me off, and stormed out!
I'm so bad.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Seventh Day snarls
Well, I had a first this morning, and although I'm a bit pissed ...I'm just not sure who I'm pissed AT! When it came around the time last night to take the Zeke-ums for his final walk for the night, we noticed the noise of running water, and looked out the window, and sure enough ...it was raining cats and dogs outside! Not sure where the storm snuck in from, but it was something else!
Well, Zeke didn't show much interest in going out, and Mom and I certainly had no interest in getting wet. The goober has been exceptional about being able to hold it for the entire six years I've had him, and he's NEVER had an accident, so I just didn't think much of it.
About a quarter till six this morning, I heard a little whine at the end of the bed. I patted the bed, and told him to come on up ...but he stayed silent and didn't hop up, so I just drifted back to sleep. About 30 min later, I heard another whine ...but once again, there was no real reaction when I spoke to him. Generally, he'll at least hop up on the bed and lick my hand or something if he needs to go out...
...about 5 minutes later, I heard the sound of a dog peeing. That sound wakes one up pretty dang quick!!! I scolded him mildly; he stopped and I took him to the back door and let him out. He's well over eight years old, and he had been in the house for over 12 hours ...so I really don't have anyone but myself to blame for it dammit. His utter lack of remorse about it kind of makes me wonder though; generally when he does something bad, he's just so danged "cringy" you'd think he had been beat up or something. Rotten little guy!
The cig cravings are still fairly strong, but they're getting better I think. I'm still not having any real lack of confidence about seeing this through this time. Tomorrow I'll go see Seb again, and I guess we'll just have to see if I can handle any beer or not. I think most of the time, avoiding beer at least for a month or so has always been for the best.
like I NEED any more temptation!
Well, Zeke didn't show much interest in going out, and Mom and I certainly had no interest in getting wet. The goober has been exceptional about being able to hold it for the entire six years I've had him, and he's NEVER had an accident, so I just didn't think much of it.
About a quarter till six this morning, I heard a little whine at the end of the bed. I patted the bed, and told him to come on up ...but he stayed silent and didn't hop up, so I just drifted back to sleep. About 30 min later, I heard another whine ...but once again, there was no real reaction when I spoke to him. Generally, he'll at least hop up on the bed and lick my hand or something if he needs to go out...
...about 5 minutes later, I heard the sound of a dog peeing. That sound wakes one up pretty dang quick!!! I scolded him mildly; he stopped and I took him to the back door and let him out. He's well over eight years old, and he had been in the house for over 12 hours ...so I really don't have anyone but myself to blame for it dammit. His utter lack of remorse about it kind of makes me wonder though; generally when he does something bad, he's just so danged "cringy" you'd think he had been beat up or something. Rotten little guy!
The cig cravings are still fairly strong, but they're getting better I think. I'm still not having any real lack of confidence about seeing this through this time. Tomorrow I'll go see Seb again, and I guess we'll just have to see if I can handle any beer or not. I think most of the time, avoiding beer at least for a month or so has always been for the best.
like I NEED any more temptation!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
sixth day sufferings
Day Six and still suffering! I'm back to Dad-sitting; Mom is still recovering from a nasty case of food poisoning on the weekend and took the day off work. She IS however, taking advantage of the fact that since I'm already here, she might as well head out for some "her" time.
On the last Dr. visit for Dad, they informed Mom that his cane was a bit too short for his height. I can relate; I've known for quite some time that my own cane is a bit too short for my height; I've just been a bit too lazy to actually go out and find something different. Well, it was a good opportunity, and so now Dad and I both have new canes! Dad is a little less than thrilled about his, but I'm sure he'll warm up to it once he uses it a bit more.
Honestly, the one that I got isn't a HUGE improvement in anything but aesthetics; it does LOOK better than my ultra-basic wooden "old man" cane though.
I get a lot of mileage out of my "story" with canes. When my doc first told me that I would be doing myself a HUGE favor to get a cane, it was a bit hard to deal with (especially at only 37 yrs of age). My initial response was to get something "cool" ...and I chose one with a "hide a sword." For those of you who have a) never seen one, or b) saw one, but didn't pay much attention; the things aren't really all they are cracked up to be. First of all ...aesthetically speaking; 1) they're kinda ugly, and 2) they aren't really designed to actually be USED (well, it doesn't hurt that they are against the law in many states, including Texas); the blade makes a godawful racket whapping around in the "sleeve" if you actually walk with them.
I actually had a cop stop me once in the grocery store and "inquire" about it. Hell, I knew they were against the law ...and just figured it best to merely be totally honest with the cop about it. He was kinda cool about it ...didn't even tell me to get something different; he merely pointed out they were against the law, and left it at that. Kinda wish I had run into that same cop a month or so later...
It was about a week later when I had one of "those moments" that have gotten pretty ho-hum for me anymore. It often amazes me how well I've adapted to the diminished sense of balance; I lose my balance all the time ...but as long as I don't panic, I very seldom can't get it back before I fall (except in those extreme cases, like when I'm moving, or trying to squeeze a couch through an opening that really shouldn't be large enough). That wasn't the case in that first year; when I started to pitch, and my brain was telling me something different than what my body was doing, I'd panic! lol ...so the very first time I had to REALLY throw my weight on the cane ...guess what?!
yup ...handle snapped right off and I went over on my ass in front of gods know how many people. SLIGHTLY embarrassing!!! It's a good thing we have our public trained so nicely about how it isn't nice to laugh at cripples (hell, I'd have been laughing with them had they been though)! ...the next day, I bought a pretty basic wooden "old man" cane, and I've used it ever since. The one I bought today is actually the same height, but it has a prettier ergonomic handgrip ...and best of all, it folds up! ...I can't tell you what a pain in the ass a non-folding cane can be in restaurants at times. If I'm at a table with regular chairs, it can be a real pain to try to stash away where it either won't keep falling, or won't trip the waiter or somebody else up. I may go ahead and get my dremel after the thing and add one more notch for height. I think I can add one more notch and get it about 1/2" higher, which is all I really need. My fear is that it might compromise the structural durability though.
I'd prefer to never repeat that *snap* ...ass over teakettle business in this lifetime for some odd reason.
I seem to recall expressing a bit of disappointment last night about how my "Elmer" post had only had a meager 5 viewings last night. I got up this morning, and it was up to an entire 6. I got to Mom & Pops, then it was over 30! I about crapped, but then I noticed one of my regular readers pimped me out on that blog! I was over 40 views on last look ...we'll see what happens from here! I guess we'll see if I can come up with something else new and creative before the day is out.
My cravings have been pretty bad this morning/afternoon ...but I'm making it. I actually did a little bit of house and kitchen cleaning last night; I broke down and made some sloppy joes for dinner (first time to use my oven surface units and/or the new cookware) and watched "Live Free or Die Hard." Then I actually cleaned up the kitchen, and had everything washed and put away so I wouldn't have to fool with it when I got back. I think I need to find a Sears and buy a new belt for my vacuum cleaner; I really need to get the floor vacuumed really well. It seems to be getting a bit "crunchy," and when I use it, I smell the rubber from the belt burning ...lol! (at least it's easy to change out)
Well, I'm off for a bit. Probably try to write a bit more later ...we'll see if I can get away with a nap or not first.
On the last Dr. visit for Dad, they informed Mom that his cane was a bit too short for his height. I can relate; I've known for quite some time that my own cane is a bit too short for my height; I've just been a bit too lazy to actually go out and find something different. Well, it was a good opportunity, and so now Dad and I both have new canes! Dad is a little less than thrilled about his, but I'm sure he'll warm up to it once he uses it a bit more.
Honestly, the one that I got isn't a HUGE improvement in anything but aesthetics; it does LOOK better than my ultra-basic wooden "old man" cane though.
I get a lot of mileage out of my "story" with canes. When my doc first told me that I would be doing myself a HUGE favor to get a cane, it was a bit hard to deal with (especially at only 37 yrs of age). My initial response was to get something "cool" ...and I chose one with a "hide a sword." For those of you who have a) never seen one, or b) saw one, but didn't pay much attention; the things aren't really all they are cracked up to be. First of all ...aesthetically speaking; 1) they're kinda ugly, and 2) they aren't really designed to actually be USED (well, it doesn't hurt that they are against the law in many states, including Texas); the blade makes a godawful racket whapping around in the "sleeve" if you actually walk with them.
I actually had a cop stop me once in the grocery store and "inquire" about it. Hell, I knew they were against the law ...and just figured it best to merely be totally honest with the cop about it. He was kinda cool about it ...didn't even tell me to get something different; he merely pointed out they were against the law, and left it at that. Kinda wish I had run into that same cop a month or so later...
It was about a week later when I had one of "those moments" that have gotten pretty ho-hum for me anymore. It often amazes me how well I've adapted to the diminished sense of balance; I lose my balance all the time ...but as long as I don't panic, I very seldom can't get it back before I fall (except in those extreme cases, like when I'm moving, or trying to squeeze a couch through an opening that really shouldn't be large enough). That wasn't the case in that first year; when I started to pitch, and my brain was telling me something different than what my body was doing, I'd panic! lol ...so the very first time I had to REALLY throw my weight on the cane ...guess what?!
yup ...handle snapped right off and I went over on my ass in front of gods know how many people. SLIGHTLY embarrassing!!! It's a good thing we have our public trained so nicely about how it isn't nice to laugh at cripples (hell, I'd have been laughing with them had they been though)! ...the next day, I bought a pretty basic wooden "old man" cane, and I've used it ever since. The one I bought today is actually the same height, but it has a prettier ergonomic handgrip ...and best of all, it folds up! ...I can't tell you what a pain in the ass a non-folding cane can be in restaurants at times. If I'm at a table with regular chairs, it can be a real pain to try to stash away where it either won't keep falling, or won't trip the waiter or somebody else up. I may go ahead and get my dremel after the thing and add one more notch for height. I think I can add one more notch and get it about 1/2" higher, which is all I really need. My fear is that it might compromise the structural durability though.
I'd prefer to never repeat that *snap* ...ass over teakettle business in this lifetime for some odd reason.
I seem to recall expressing a bit of disappointment last night about how my "Elmer" post had only had a meager 5 viewings last night. I got up this morning, and it was up to an entire 6. I got to Mom & Pops, then it was over 30! I about crapped, but then I noticed one of my regular readers pimped me out on that blog! I was over 40 views on last look ...we'll see what happens from here! I guess we'll see if I can come up with something else new and creative before the day is out.
My cravings have been pretty bad this morning/afternoon ...but I'm making it. I actually did a little bit of house and kitchen cleaning last night; I broke down and made some sloppy joes for dinner (first time to use my oven surface units and/or the new cookware) and watched "Live Free or Die Hard." Then I actually cleaned up the kitchen, and had everything washed and put away so I wouldn't have to fool with it when I got back. I think I need to find a Sears and buy a new belt for my vacuum cleaner; I really need to get the floor vacuumed really well. It seems to be getting a bit "crunchy," and when I use it, I smell the rubber from the belt burning ...lol! (at least it's easy to change out)
Well, I'm off for a bit. Probably try to write a bit more later ...we'll see if I can get away with a nap or not first.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Fifth Day Frenzy
Day five, and in my stoned-outed-ness last night, I hit on a few decent ideas. I guess that sometime in the hopefully nearer future, I'm going to need to get busy seriously writing again on my "project." I've been finding of late that in my blog, my focus gets just a little bit too broad for my own good sometimes, and I need to narrow it a little bit.
I just did a blog on both pages ...but as dizzydude, at least I can offer documentation. I guess we'll see if I manage to stir up any hornets at the other site; it might be fun!
update: I took down the blog on AFF and wrote another that I also crossposted here ...the "not being able to provide links" just aggravated me a little too much; that, and I really would rather just stick to humor there.
So online dating: Should I tackle my favorite place, or just the concept in general?!
I think in all of my meandering experiences, the one thing that I have gleaned is that without question:
People really don't know what in the fuck they want.
I read profiles all day long and it always is generally pretty glaringly obvious who's new and who isn't. There are jokes everywhere about long walks on the beach at sunset ...and then there are the first timers who really think it sounds romantic unknowing that it is one of the most overused cliches in online profiles. Even the ones who have been around for a while still manage to fall into that old "I love to laugh" business. In all my years on the net, I have never ONCE seen someone say they HATE laughing (I have, however, seen a few pictures of gals who look like their face might break if they DID laugh though).
I can understand the whole "sense of humor" thing being mandatory to an extent though. I have a frickin' goofy sense of humor, and if a gal doesn't like a little bit of goofiness, then it can save us both time for me to mention it. My brothers second wife didn't really have a sense of humor; I remember him reading her the Sunday funny papers and having to explain why they were funny. Christ on a crutch ...I really don't think I could handle being with someone that slow on the "sense of humor" front, so I guess it can't hurt to mention it off the bat. Of course in a case like my ex sis-in-law ...I don't think she was sharp enough for online dating anyway.
So today is the frantic fifth day without a cigarette. FUCK ...the withdrawls are finally starting to settle down a bit, but now it would appear those frickin' cravings are just getting started. Not that the cravings weren't always there, but now they are being more pronounced because apparently my body is no longer in a state of fucking shock from the absence of nicotine! I think this is certainly going to be day #1 without the "dope to cope" though.
Both of my brothers have called me today to check up on me; one to ask about the smoking, the other just an "in general" call. I LOVE how both of my brothers can manage to be supportive of me without sounding condescending; I kinda wish my sister could pick up on that, but it isn't as though she does it on purpose... *sigh*
So tomorrow begins again with dad-sitting, and I'm almost ready for bed. I had a decent day; and no drugs at all, not even my dizziness stuff (which I probably should have been taking, but geez). So tomorrow will be sixth-day something or other... sigh!
I'm thinking maybe Friday I can come out of the closet on AFF about the smoking thing... we'll see how I feel then, but for now I think it's time the goober and I hit the sack!
I just did a blog on both pages ...but as dizzydude, at least I can offer documentation. I guess we'll see if I manage to stir up any hornets at the other site; it might be fun!
update: I took down the blog on AFF and wrote another that I also crossposted here ...the "not being able to provide links" just aggravated me a little too much; that, and I really would rather just stick to humor there.
So online dating: Should I tackle my favorite place, or just the concept in general?!
I think in all of my meandering experiences, the one thing that I have gleaned is that without question:
People really don't know what in the fuck they want.
I read profiles all day long and it always is generally pretty glaringly obvious who's new and who isn't. There are jokes everywhere about long walks on the beach at sunset ...and then there are the first timers who really think it sounds romantic unknowing that it is one of the most overused cliches in online profiles. Even the ones who have been around for a while still manage to fall into that old "I love to laugh" business. In all my years on the net, I have never ONCE seen someone say they HATE laughing (I have, however, seen a few pictures of gals who look like their face might break if they DID laugh though).
I can understand the whole "sense of humor" thing being mandatory to an extent though. I have a frickin' goofy sense of humor, and if a gal doesn't like a little bit of goofiness, then it can save us both time for me to mention it. My brothers second wife didn't really have a sense of humor; I remember him reading her the Sunday funny papers and having to explain why they were funny. Christ on a crutch ...I really don't think I could handle being with someone that slow on the "sense of humor" front, so I guess it can't hurt to mention it off the bat. Of course in a case like my ex sis-in-law ...I don't think she was sharp enough for online dating anyway.
So today is the frantic fifth day without a cigarette. FUCK ...the withdrawls are finally starting to settle down a bit, but now it would appear those frickin' cravings are just getting started. Not that the cravings weren't always there, but now they are being more pronounced because apparently my body is no longer in a state of fucking shock from the absence of nicotine! I think this is certainly going to be day #1 without the "dope to cope" though.
Both of my brothers have called me today to check up on me; one to ask about the smoking, the other just an "in general" call. I LOVE how both of my brothers can manage to be supportive of me without sounding condescending; I kinda wish my sister could pick up on that, but it isn't as though she does it on purpose... *sigh*
So tomorrow begins again with dad-sitting, and I'm almost ready for bed. I had a decent day; and no drugs at all, not even my dizziness stuff (which I probably should have been taking, but geez). So tomorrow will be sixth-day something or other... sigh!
I'm thinking maybe Friday I can come out of the closet on AFF about the smoking thing... we'll see how I feel then, but for now I think it's time the goober and I hit the sack!
In memory of "Elmer"
I think I may have mentioned in a few blogs how mechanics are essentially just a bunch of overgrown children, and I still stand by that. Some of the stuff that I've pulled over the years by way of practical jokes (AND stuff that has been pulled on me) is nothing short of incredible. I had quite a reputation as being a bit of a techno-geek in most of my jokes (such as wiring my bosses keyboard to an air horn I stashed under his desk), but one of my earliest attempts was pretty danged low-tech ...and I still laugh when I remember it.
It all started innocently enough in the mid 80's. We were on a cleanup rampage in the bathroom/locker room at one of my jobs in the auto department of a chain department store whose name rhymed with "Wards," and one of the lockers still held a change of clothes for a guy that had quit way back when ...and there was a pair of work boots in there as well.
...and the birth of an idea.
The bathroom was fair sized; one urinal, one stall, and a large sink to wash up in (critical in an auto shop). As my buddy and I saw the boots in the locker, I thought it might be funny to try a little prank and see how it went over. We took out the boots and set them up in the (only) bathroom "stall" ...and then dropped a pair of pants down over them. I seem to recall we may have gone back and set some tall cans of brake cleaner inside the boots to complete the effect, but it was quite the sight to see standing from the outside. It looked just like someone sitting in there with their pants around their ankles.
This became the birth of "Elmer."
Day one in Elmer's life began with the boss hauling ass into the bathroom ...then running back out and frantically pacing back and forth by the bathroom door, pausing every now and then to stick his head in and shout "WOULD YOU HURRY UP IN THERE!!!!"
...and of course the whole shop knows what's going on and is giggling like schoolgirls about it.
He finally went in, then came out a few minutes later just rolling his eyes when met with the riotous laughter from all over the shop; we knew an idea had been unleashed on the unsuspecting world! We generally reserved "Elmer" for new guys, but one could never tell over the years that followed when he might rear his ugly feet.
The time of all times was when we got a new guy, and he really got into a twist about it. Poor guy! He was in his first week, and after about an hour he remarked about "that guy in the bathroom" being in there for an awfully long time. We had this down to a science ...we just told him not to worry, it was only Elmer. No matter who he asked, that was the response "...don't worry, it's just Elmer." sometimes "You know Elmer ...old guy, works on the docks, beard..." ...and then the clincher "...sometimes he just goes to sleep."
But ALWAYS "Don't worry about it ...it's just Elmer."
It got pretty fun to see how long we could string somebody along before they would finally break down and LOOK ...hell, Elmer didn't even have a shadow (most said that was what finally gave it away). But this particular new guy was starting to get a little upset after a couple of hours with no movement from "that guy;" I would imagine he had to have been at least a little baffled by everyone's nonchalance about the whole thing. When he started getting a little more panicked about the whole situation, we started suggesting that perhaps he should go in and check on him.
And THIS was when things really started to get funny: "I'M NOT GOING IN THERE, HE MIGHT BE DEAD (pronounced Day-ud)!!!!"
Now this is pretty cruel, but his Okie accent really made all this almost three times as funny; this poor guy was just SO clueless about how we all didn't seem to mind AT ALL that some guy had been in the bathroom for 4 hours without moving. It was just too funny ...people from other departments were actually coming around just to hear the guy launch off about "that guy in the bathroom" ...and of course, to see his horrified look when they just told him not to worry! ..or even worse, to go check!
"I know it's "JUST ELMER," but I think he's DAY-UD!!!"
"HELL NO, I'm not going in there! ...he might be DAY-UD!!!"
Some folks are kinda thick though ...you would think he'd start to smell a rat when by the sixth hour, people from as far away as Home and Garden are coming over and laughing themselves silly while he's carrying on in obvious panic about that old guy that's been in there ALL DAY LONG ...and nobody seems to care at all!
I think the highlight of the whole thing was when it started getting nearer to closing time, and I had to make "the" phone call to the Big Boss (BB).
me: Hey BB, this is GM out in the shop
BB: Hey GM, what's going on?
me: Well, I just wanted to give you a heads up about a practical joke we're playing on the new guy
BB: uh-oh ...is this something you really want to be telling ME about?!
me: Well, when he calls you about the dead guy in the bathroom, I thought you might appreciate some warning before you called 911
BB: *drops phone*
me: (I'm sure you can see me holding the phone away from my ear at what came next)
...and that's actually pretty accurate. I'm not sure what it says about the "big boss" that by the time I was done, he was laughing so hard he could barely hold the phone. It would seem he'd been overhearing bits and pieces from people all day long laughing about "Elmer," but just wasn't quite able to make any sense of it all until that moment.
Come closing time, sure enough ...here comes the new guy dragging out BB by his arm, ranting about the DAY-UD guy in the bathroom. BB is TRYING so very hard to tell him that it's a joke ...they've been pulling your leg ...it's not a real person!
and new guy KEEPS ON ...no NO NO, it's a GUY, and I think he's DAY-UD!!!
...all the way into the bathroom until BB swings the door open, and there sits "Elmer" in all his minimalistic glory.
Lol ...it really was pretty freakin' hysterical; and the guy even took it in amazingly good humor (he never came in the next day with an M-16 anyway)!
But as I look back, how much like a "Twilight Zone" episode would that have HAD to have felt like?! Not only does nobody CARE there is a dead guy, they keep laughing at you when you try to tell them?!
Life is a trip, huh?!
It all started innocently enough in the mid 80's. We were on a cleanup rampage in the bathroom/locker room at one of my jobs in the auto department of a chain department store whose name rhymed with "Wards," and one of the lockers still held a change of clothes for a guy that had quit way back when ...and there was a pair of work boots in there as well.
...and the birth of an idea.
The bathroom was fair sized; one urinal, one stall, and a large sink to wash up in (critical in an auto shop). As my buddy and I saw the boots in the locker, I thought it might be funny to try a little prank and see how it went over. We took out the boots and set them up in the (only) bathroom "stall" ...and then dropped a pair of pants down over them. I seem to recall we may have gone back and set some tall cans of brake cleaner inside the boots to complete the effect, but it was quite the sight to see standing from the outside. It looked just like someone sitting in there with their pants around their ankles.
This became the birth of "Elmer."
Day one in Elmer's life began with the boss hauling ass into the bathroom ...then running back out and frantically pacing back and forth by the bathroom door, pausing every now and then to stick his head in and shout "WOULD YOU HURRY UP IN THERE!!!!"
...and of course the whole shop knows what's going on and is giggling like schoolgirls about it.
He finally went in, then came out a few minutes later just rolling his eyes when met with the riotous laughter from all over the shop; we knew an idea had been unleashed on the unsuspecting world! We generally reserved "Elmer" for new guys, but one could never tell over the years that followed when he might rear his ugly feet.
The time of all times was when we got a new guy, and he really got into a twist about it. Poor guy! He was in his first week, and after about an hour he remarked about "that guy in the bathroom" being in there for an awfully long time. We had this down to a science ...we just told him not to worry, it was only Elmer. No matter who he asked, that was the response "...don't worry, it's just Elmer." sometimes "You know Elmer ...old guy, works on the docks, beard..." ...and then the clincher "...sometimes he just goes to sleep."
But ALWAYS "Don't worry about it ...it's just Elmer."
It got pretty fun to see how long we could string somebody along before they would finally break down and LOOK ...hell, Elmer didn't even have a shadow (most said that was what finally gave it away). But this particular new guy was starting to get a little upset after a couple of hours with no movement from "that guy;" I would imagine he had to have been at least a little baffled by everyone's nonchalance about the whole thing. When he started getting a little more panicked about the whole situation, we started suggesting that perhaps he should go in and check on him.
And THIS was when things really started to get funny: "I'M NOT GOING IN THERE, HE MIGHT BE DEAD (pronounced Day-ud)!!!!"
Now this is pretty cruel, but his Okie accent really made all this almost three times as funny; this poor guy was just SO clueless about how we all didn't seem to mind AT ALL that some guy had been in the bathroom for 4 hours without moving. It was just too funny ...people from other departments were actually coming around just to hear the guy launch off about "that guy in the bathroom" ...and of course, to see his horrified look when they just told him not to worry! ..or even worse, to go check!
"I know it's "JUST ELMER," but I think he's DAY-UD!!!"
"HELL NO, I'm not going in there! ...he might be DAY-UD!!!"
Some folks are kinda thick though ...you would think he'd start to smell a rat when by the sixth hour, people from as far away as Home and Garden are coming over and laughing themselves silly while he's carrying on in obvious panic about that old guy that's been in there ALL DAY LONG ...and nobody seems to care at all!
I think the highlight of the whole thing was when it started getting nearer to closing time, and I had to make "the" phone call to the Big Boss (BB).
me: Hey BB, this is GM out in the shop
BB: Hey GM, what's going on?
me: Well, I just wanted to give you a heads up about a practical joke we're playing on the new guy
BB: uh-oh ...is this something you really want to be telling ME about?!
me: Well, when he calls you about the dead guy in the bathroom, I thought you might appreciate some warning before you called 911
BB: *drops phone*
me: (I'm sure you can see me holding the phone away from my ear at what came next)
...and that's actually pretty accurate. I'm not sure what it says about the "big boss" that by the time I was done, he was laughing so hard he could barely hold the phone. It would seem he'd been overhearing bits and pieces from people all day long laughing about "Elmer," but just wasn't quite able to make any sense of it all until that moment.
Come closing time, sure enough ...here comes the new guy dragging out BB by his arm, ranting about the DAY-UD guy in the bathroom. BB is TRYING so very hard to tell him that it's a joke ...they've been pulling your leg ...it's not a real person!
and new guy KEEPS ON ...no NO NO, it's a GUY, and I think he's DAY-UD!!!
...all the way into the bathroom until BB swings the door open, and there sits "Elmer" in all his minimalistic glory.
Lol ...it really was pretty freakin' hysterical; and the guy even took it in amazingly good humor (he never came in the next day with an M-16 anyway)!
But as I look back, how much like a "Twilight Zone" episode would that have HAD to have felt like?! Not only does nobody CARE there is a dead guy, they keep laughing at you when you try to tell them?!
Life is a trip, huh?!
Solar scariness
I was on MSNBC this morning and saw the headline about how Toyota is planning to offer a limited solar setup on a higher end model of the Prius, although they are calling it a largely "symbolic" measure.
I did a blog quite some time ago about the efficiency of solar, and how some people's perception of it is just a tad bit overinflated.
Over the last few months, I've been seeing a swing in the other direction though, and I find it a little bit disturbing. There is already a new solar technology in place that renders most of the crap in the article out of date. We have panels out right now made and developed right here in the good old US of A that are made without silicone, MUCH cheaper and even with a higher output! Of course, we can't buy them here because Germany bought everything they can produce for the first year.
Here we are facing a bit of an energy crunch, and the story recently broke that some solar power plants in the desert that have been put on hold for the next (at least) two years pending "environmental impact studies."
Now ...as much as some people would like to point a finger and say "you see! ...it's the environmentalist wackjobs doing it!!!" Odd that it's the BLM doing it, citing environmental concerns, yet I can't find a SINGLE environmental group claiming responsibility!
...does anyone really buy this?!
I don't really care so much for the partisan shit, so check your blue or red tinted glasses at the door.
In other headlines, we have the story about how we've just sold about 100K acres of forest in a back room deal to be used as subdivision housing.
Although the oil companies would have us believe that we need to open up MORE land for drilling domestically; they already HAVE over 40 million acres of public land FOR drilling, and aren't even touching over 75% of it!
We could certainly be getting the oil domestically that we are getting from the middle east now, and it wouldn't even take any more drilling to do it. The reason we buy oil from OPEC is that it's CHEAPER than producing it domestically. Reality check folks. More drilling only protects a future source of income; at present it doesn't affect actual supply ...only the cost of getting at it.
So it's all over the headlines about more land being opened up for drilling, more land is being sold off for subdivisions...
...and yet solar power plants in the middle of the desert is being held off by that oh, so powerful group of environmentalists wanting to protect a desert species of lizard or something?!
As I said, red or blue ...if something about that excuse doesn't stink to you, then maybe you should start asking what it would TAKE?!
I did a blog quite some time ago about the efficiency of solar, and how some people's perception of it is just a tad bit overinflated.
Over the last few months, I've been seeing a swing in the other direction though, and I find it a little bit disturbing. There is already a new solar technology in place that renders most of the crap in the article out of date. We have panels out right now made and developed right here in the good old US of A that are made without silicone, MUCH cheaper and even with a higher output! Of course, we can't buy them here because Germany bought everything they can produce for the first year.
Here we are facing a bit of an energy crunch, and the story recently broke that some solar power plants in the desert that have been put on hold for the next (at least) two years pending "environmental impact studies."
Now ...as much as some people would like to point a finger and say "you see! ...it's the environmentalist wackjobs doing it!!!" Odd that it's the BLM doing it, citing environmental concerns, yet I can't find a SINGLE environmental group claiming responsibility!
...does anyone really buy this?!
I don't really care so much for the partisan shit, so check your blue or red tinted glasses at the door.
In other headlines, we have the story about how we've just sold about 100K acres of forest in a back room deal to be used as subdivision housing.
Although the oil companies would have us believe that we need to open up MORE land for drilling domestically; they already HAVE over 40 million acres of public land FOR drilling, and aren't even touching over 75% of it!
We could certainly be getting the oil domestically that we are getting from the middle east now, and it wouldn't even take any more drilling to do it. The reason we buy oil from OPEC is that it's CHEAPER than producing it domestically. Reality check folks. More drilling only protects a future source of income; at present it doesn't affect actual supply ...only the cost of getting at it.
So it's all over the headlines about more land being opened up for drilling, more land is being sold off for subdivisions...
...and yet solar power plants in the middle of the desert is being held off by that oh, so powerful group of environmentalists wanting to protect a desert species of lizard or something?!
As I said, red or blue ...if something about that excuse doesn't stink to you, then maybe you should start asking what it would TAKE?!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Fourth Day Frazzles
Day four and all is
...well
...here anyway!
I made a run this morning to Fry's and to the grocery store; it's after two, and I still haven't really eaten yet, come to think of it. I'm thinking about making another run down to Wally-World and getting some of those other little things I need for the kitchen and around the house. Tupperware, mop, some bowls, perhaps some towels ...little stuff. I bought over a terabyte of storage at Fry's, and I have a 500 gig drive that I'll need to get warrantied; I don't know if it is crashing, or the file system got screwed; I just know it's running WAY too slow.
The niccing out is still here, but I'm not really feeling any huge urge to just stone myself out to escape it though. I really do despise that vicodin and what it does to my stomach, so I guess it MUST be getting a little more bearable on day four if I'm more willing to bear with the discomfort rather than stone myself out (and deal with the other unpleasantness of the vicodin). I was talking to one of my other site friends this morning ...she has a pretty addictive personality I guess, and was all about warnings.
Lol ...I figure it a few different ways. I had a three year old bottle of vicodin that I didn't even see the need to use after slamming my hand full-tilt with a 6lb sledgehammer! If the discomfort for the first few days of quitting smoking exceeds the pain of that fucked up hand, then maybe that's what pain killers are for. If day 4 is okay enough that stoning myself out first thing to escape said pain never really even entered my head this morning, then the odds on my getting addicted are probably pretty fucking slim.
I still haven't "come out" about the smoking on my other blog; I'm thinking I may just wait another week or so. I may well be able to throw a funny spin on it ...drugs couches and plotting infanticide, ...oh my!
The cold turkey thing sucks, but I still think it works by far the best for me! Dangit ...I think I'm going to go ahead and make that Wally Run, then get back here and veg the rest of the night.
-------
...and yeah, I'm back! I think that pretty well finishes me out on the "stuff I need" for the house except for the odd end table or whatever. I even bought a muffin pan and muffin mix this morning (ya never can tell!). Ouch ...I DID forget mixing bowls though, dammit ...I got the tupperware stuff, but forgot those (well, they weren't on the list); I was also looking at some storage containers that I think I may go ahead and pick up the next time too. I bought the new shower neck for the tub, and now have Zeke's shower hose all attached (I need a rubber washer for the new head though), extra pillow cases, some hand towels and a mop & plunger. I even got up my "oil paintings" up on the wall, although I probably shouldn't have done that without someone to help me level them. *sigh* The dizziness is really starting to creep up on me again; the cig cravings are sharp and powerful, but I'm still okay on that front. ...I may want to really stone myself out for the evening, but I dunno. Hell, I still haven't really even eaten yet, sooooo... no tellin! The big question at this point is "what do I want to eat?!" ...since I got hamburger at last, I'm kinda tempted to make sloppy joes.
The goober hasn't even been on me to take him out yet since I got back; maybe he saw "his" shower stuff going up, and he's trying to kiss my ass or something. lol!
Man I'm just a 'ramblin away. Perhaps some topics for later: online dating is always fun to tackle; shit that I hate seeing, and stuff I like!
I'm way overdue for a religion topic. I was just reading a blog a little while ago about a gals "special needs" son, and the whole thing was "God this" and "God that" ...and on the adult website, all the people saying how they are praying for her. For being an XXX site, there sure are an awfully lot of outpourings of faith on there. Not that it invalidates the faith, but it just seems kind of like a tap-dance though to try to appear virtuous and all on a hook-up site.
...oh yeah, and maybe that other under-the-table land deal by the gov't effectively turning a shit load of federal forest into condo property. ...and yet the "environmentalist wackos" are managing to hold back solar power for two years. gimmee a fucking break!
...well
...here anyway!
I made a run this morning to Fry's and to the grocery store; it's after two, and I still haven't really eaten yet, come to think of it. I'm thinking about making another run down to Wally-World and getting some of those other little things I need for the kitchen and around the house. Tupperware, mop, some bowls, perhaps some towels ...little stuff. I bought over a terabyte of storage at Fry's, and I have a 500 gig drive that I'll need to get warrantied; I don't know if it is crashing, or the file system got screwed; I just know it's running WAY too slow.
The niccing out is still here, but I'm not really feeling any huge urge to just stone myself out to escape it though. I really do despise that vicodin and what it does to my stomach, so I guess it MUST be getting a little more bearable on day four if I'm more willing to bear with the discomfort rather than stone myself out (and deal with the other unpleasantness of the vicodin). I was talking to one of my other site friends this morning ...she has a pretty addictive personality I guess, and was all about warnings.
Lol ...I figure it a few different ways. I had a three year old bottle of vicodin that I didn't even see the need to use after slamming my hand full-tilt with a 6lb sledgehammer! If the discomfort for the first few days of quitting smoking exceeds the pain of that fucked up hand, then maybe that's what pain killers are for. If day 4 is okay enough that stoning myself out first thing to escape said pain never really even entered my head this morning, then the odds on my getting addicted are probably pretty fucking slim.
I still haven't "come out" about the smoking on my other blog; I'm thinking I may just wait another week or so. I may well be able to throw a funny spin on it ...drugs couches and plotting infanticide, ...oh my!
The cold turkey thing sucks, but I still think it works by far the best for me! Dangit ...I think I'm going to go ahead and make that Wally Run, then get back here and veg the rest of the night.
-------
...and yeah, I'm back! I think that pretty well finishes me out on the "stuff I need" for the house except for the odd end table or whatever. I even bought a muffin pan and muffin mix this morning (ya never can tell!). Ouch ...I DID forget mixing bowls though, dammit ...I got the tupperware stuff, but forgot those (well, they weren't on the list); I was also looking at some storage containers that I think I may go ahead and pick up the next time too. I bought the new shower neck for the tub, and now have Zeke's shower hose all attached (I need a rubber washer for the new head though), extra pillow cases, some hand towels and a mop & plunger. I even got up my "oil paintings" up on the wall, although I probably shouldn't have done that without someone to help me level them. *sigh* The dizziness is really starting to creep up on me again; the cig cravings are sharp and powerful, but I'm still okay on that front. ...I may want to really stone myself out for the evening, but I dunno. Hell, I still haven't really even eaten yet, sooooo... no tellin! The big question at this point is "what do I want to eat?!" ...since I got hamburger at last, I'm kinda tempted to make sloppy joes.
The goober hasn't even been on me to take him out yet since I got back; maybe he saw "his" shower stuff going up, and he's trying to kiss my ass or something. lol!
Man I'm just a 'ramblin away. Perhaps some topics for later: online dating is always fun to tackle; shit that I hate seeing, and stuff I like!
I'm way overdue for a religion topic. I was just reading a blog a little while ago about a gals "special needs" son, and the whole thing was "God this" and "God that" ...and on the adult website, all the people saying how they are praying for her. For being an XXX site, there sure are an awfully lot of outpourings of faith on there. Not that it invalidates the faith, but it just seems kind of like a tap-dance though to try to appear virtuous and all on a hook-up site.
...oh yeah, and maybe that other under-the-table land deal by the gov't effectively turning a shit load of federal forest into condo property. ...and yet the "environmentalist wackos" are managing to hold back solar power for two years. gimmee a fucking break!
Saturday, July 5, 2008
third day thumpings
So here I am on day three and I'm feeling pretty horrible this morning; right now I'm trying to decide if I want to run to MickeyD for some breakfast. My stomach is still a bit upset from the vicodin yesterday, but I still want to eat everything in sight for the most part.
Yesterdays vicodin spree was something else; I don't know if I'll try it again today or not. I guess it depends on how bad the craving/discomfort gets. Last night was pretty miserable; I learned a great deal about vicodin hangovers ...and how when ones reaction to noise tends to be about like every nerve ending in the body is set on fire at the same time, that perhaps the 4th of July isn't the best time to come down. ...major conflict, because I can't decide if the drug itself is better or worse than the hangover. Fuck ...mostly I just slept through it right after I took it; there wasn't much sleeping last night though.
Well dammit ...the elephant must be out of bed upstairs. I just can't figure how they manage to make as much noise as they do up there without it being on purpose!
This morning I have found that the visual hallucination stage of my withdrawls are beginning (dammit). I think it's a bit odd to tell people about that aspect of things; they always look at me like I told them I see purple Venusian rabbits named "Bob" who like to read me ee cummings by candlelight (which would be downright silly since Zeke already does that). I noticed when I started typing this, I kinda zoned out for a minute ...and the desktop icons started slowly "drifting." And that's about the size of it ...I see vague motions, sometimes out of the corner of my eye ...sometimes when just staring idly at nothing in particular. Very bizarre, but no more or less troubling than any of the rest of it.
Hoo-kay. I just put those two totes that were in front of the fireplace into the outside shed; re-arranged the hall closet and put away my toolbox (also in front of the fireplace). I may take on hanging up a few pictures today; it would be kind of nice to get all those pictures in my bedroom entryway either hung up or put away. I think I may actually be kind of up to trying to get a little bit more work done around here today.
I DID indeed "do" the vicodin again an hour or so ago; I think there may be about 4-5 more in the bottle, and as long as it makes this crap a little better, I think I'm going to be pretty unapologetic about it.
Yesterdays vicodin spree was something else; I don't know if I'll try it again today or not. I guess it depends on how bad the craving/discomfort gets. Last night was pretty miserable; I learned a great deal about vicodin hangovers ...and how when ones reaction to noise tends to be about like every nerve ending in the body is set on fire at the same time, that perhaps the 4th of July isn't the best time to come down. ...major conflict, because I can't decide if the drug itself is better or worse than the hangover. Fuck ...mostly I just slept through it right after I took it; there wasn't much sleeping last night though.
Well dammit ...the elephant must be out of bed upstairs. I just can't figure how they manage to make as much noise as they do up there without it being on purpose!
This morning I have found that the visual hallucination stage of my withdrawls are beginning (dammit). I think it's a bit odd to tell people about that aspect of things; they always look at me like I told them I see purple Venusian rabbits named "Bob" who like to read me ee cummings by candlelight (which would be downright silly since Zeke already does that). I noticed when I started typing this, I kinda zoned out for a minute ...and the desktop icons started slowly "drifting." And that's about the size of it ...I see vague motions, sometimes out of the corner of my eye ...sometimes when just staring idly at nothing in particular. Very bizarre, but no more or less troubling than any of the rest of it.
Hoo-kay. I just put those two totes that were in front of the fireplace into the outside shed; re-arranged the hall closet and put away my toolbox (also in front of the fireplace). I may take on hanging up a few pictures today; it would be kind of nice to get all those pictures in my bedroom entryway either hung up or put away. I think I may actually be kind of up to trying to get a little bit more work done around here today.
I DID indeed "do" the vicodin again an hour or so ago; I think there may be about 4-5 more in the bottle, and as long as it makes this crap a little better, I think I'm going to be pretty unapologetic about it.
Friday, July 4, 2008
second day delirium
It's the Fourth of July, and it's really being something else. Not fun, not emotionally fulfilling ...something else. It's my second day without a cigarette, so perhaps something like the "seventh level of hell" would be a better descriptor?!
Today would have been my 10 year mark with Linda had we never split. I had almost forgotten about that particular significance. I think the end of this month will be the two year mark since the break-up. I'm sure glad we're apart (and FAR apart), but there are still things I often miss about her; I'm glad we're still friends at least. I was really happy that she sent Mom a card and b-day present (and called ...Mom said they talked for well over an hour); the card was very sweet! Her family is about the only thing that I can compare mine to and feel fairly "normal."
And I just finished movie number one for the day a while ago; soon to press on into more I'm sure. I have to say, I'm doing fairly well all things considered, even if I did sleep for quite a few hours midway in the first movie; I could easily find myself up all night if I keep up with the napping. A few minutes ago I found an extremely old bottle of vicodin from that time I smacked my hand with a hammer; I took two, and it seems to be taking at least SOME of the edge off. Odd how the cravings come on ...wow, kinda like cravings. ...I thought I had remembered being almost rabid in the cravings a few times in the past; these are pretty damned powerful but hardly unmanageable. (but woweee that Vicodin helps that part out)
The withdrawls are a bitch, and I really knew they would be; not like I haven't been down this road before. I think it's probably even more amazing that I started again after the other times more so than the other side. At the moment, the primary pain in the ass is my head, which feels as though I have a vice on it. My dizziness is about like my "usual" ...only times about 20; with the vicodin kicking in so nicely I'm not being quite as noticeful about the full body ache, but I know it's there when I try to walk. My stomach is fucked up too, but that's a little bit harder to describe. I think this could be described as being "in pain" but I'm not sure. I just know that it is SO awful, I think the fact I came back to it is probably the anomaly. I think the severity of the withdrawls have always let me stay quit at least for weeks or months. When I have started again, it's almost always a week or month later ...seldom ever a day or two.
The cravings are more like an absent "where are my cigarettes?" kind of crave more than an "if somebody walks near me with a cigarette, I'll take their right hand off at the wrist" kind of thing. Sure I WANT a cigarette, but I'm hardly in any danger of going to get any. It's sure being plenty bad though ...my eyes hurt, the head is full of pressure, I'm VERY dizzy and can't think straight (typing is even being a chore); I figure the constipation or diarrhea will kick in tomorrow. I don't recall if the hallucinating really kicked in until the second or third day, but maybe I'll escape it this time. One can hope.
I think the upside of this whole thing is that I'll probably be able to STAY quit this time. I really just can't afford the habit at all anymore; my "cigs and booze" bill for the last month was just about exactly what my food budget is. In short, I can do booze and smokes, or I can eat and pay bills. Tempting as the alternative sounds at this point, I guess I have to go with the (fucking) responsible one though... :( One would think I'd quit because of my health, or that the money would be better spent elsewhere. I never thought I'd give it up merely because there IS no money for it. Good motivator.
Okay, well I'm off for a bit. We'll see wha hoppens....
Today would have been my 10 year mark with Linda had we never split. I had almost forgotten about that particular significance. I think the end of this month will be the two year mark since the break-up. I'm sure glad we're apart (and FAR apart), but there are still things I often miss about her; I'm glad we're still friends at least. I was really happy that she sent Mom a card and b-day present (and called ...Mom said they talked for well over an hour); the card was very sweet! Her family is about the only thing that I can compare mine to and feel fairly "normal."
And I just finished movie number one for the day a while ago; soon to press on into more I'm sure. I have to say, I'm doing fairly well all things considered, even if I did sleep for quite a few hours midway in the first movie; I could easily find myself up all night if I keep up with the napping. A few minutes ago I found an extremely old bottle of vicodin from that time I smacked my hand with a hammer; I took two, and it seems to be taking at least SOME of the edge off. Odd how the cravings come on ...wow, kinda like cravings. ...I thought I had remembered being almost rabid in the cravings a few times in the past; these are pretty damned powerful but hardly unmanageable. (but woweee that Vicodin helps that part out)
The withdrawls are a bitch, and I really knew they would be; not like I haven't been down this road before. I think it's probably even more amazing that I started again after the other times more so than the other side. At the moment, the primary pain in the ass is my head, which feels as though I have a vice on it. My dizziness is about like my "usual" ...only times about 20; with the vicodin kicking in so nicely I'm not being quite as noticeful about the full body ache, but I know it's there when I try to walk. My stomach is fucked up too, but that's a little bit harder to describe. I think this could be described as being "in pain" but I'm not sure. I just know that it is SO awful, I think the fact I came back to it is probably the anomaly. I think the severity of the withdrawls have always let me stay quit at least for weeks or months. When I have started again, it's almost always a week or month later ...seldom ever a day or two.
The cravings are more like an absent "where are my cigarettes?" kind of crave more than an "if somebody walks near me with a cigarette, I'll take their right hand off at the wrist" kind of thing. Sure I WANT a cigarette, but I'm hardly in any danger of going to get any. It's sure being plenty bad though ...my eyes hurt, the head is full of pressure, I'm VERY dizzy and can't think straight (typing is even being a chore); I figure the constipation or diarrhea will kick in tomorrow. I don't recall if the hallucinating really kicked in until the second or third day, but maybe I'll escape it this time. One can hope.
I think the upside of this whole thing is that I'll probably be able to STAY quit this time. I really just can't afford the habit at all anymore; my "cigs and booze" bill for the last month was just about exactly what my food budget is. In short, I can do booze and smokes, or I can eat and pay bills. Tempting as the alternative sounds at this point, I guess I have to go with the (fucking) responsible one though... :( One would think I'd quit because of my health, or that the money would be better spent elsewhere. I never thought I'd give it up merely because there IS no money for it. Good motivator.
Okay, well I'm off for a bit. We'll see wha hoppens....
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
the other side of couch-birthing.
Lol! ...I kinda liked that previous post, and it is indeed a crosspost from another blogsite I am active on (there may be quite a bit of that going on). I think it might be a good idea on this site to tell a little bit about the "other side" of that story, and take out a little bit of the humorous context. (on the other site, I only tell the funny part of the story; most of my readers don't even know that I'm disabled). So if you are a new reader, back out now, and read the other one first!
It's Wednesday now, and I'm still suffering from the overexertion of it.
I had a friend quite a few years back that we had a bit of a "parting of ways" over his handling of a back injury. He was a neat guy, but he really was a bit of a pothead "schemer" who was always trying to come up with "that big score." He hurt his back on a job, then he kept taking more jobs that he amazingly kept injuring his back in.
Now don't get me wrong, he did mess his back up! ...but to this day, I still believe he over-inflated the extent to which is was hurt. I know good and well if he had just got a desk job somewhere, it would have avoided further injuries.
BUT on around his third lawsuit from the third employer since it all began, they had a private investigator filming him changing out the cylinder heads on his van. I think it could have been at least a little less damning; hell, I would have been in those videos as well! I was there to help him for the stuff that was too heavy, and saw how worn out he was after a hard day and how much pain he was in at times.
We had a parting of ways (no ugliness; I just "let" us fall out of touch) after he lost his case for the disability, and then entered a new one for racial discrimination. It was really silly, and I think deep down, even he knew it was bullshit. But there ya go.
I've mused to myself a few times what would happen if some investigator brought out the video equipment with me. It would be amusing when I do stupid shit like move a couch all by myself, but it would have to have some major editing to ever be actually used against me in any sort of court.
I get away with doing a whole lot of shit I really don't have any business doing in the first place! Oddly, it probably tends to be pretty obvious to any kind of onlooker that I probably shouldn't be doing it at all. My ambulatory nature kind of depends on my ability to ignore stuff. When I drive, I have to totally ignore what my sense of motion is telling me; it took me quite a few years to learn how to shut that out!
I do the same with pain, I do the same with nausea. Just because I have the ability to do certain things hardly means I don't suffer for it in other ways. When I was in my 20's, I put an engine in a friends '77 Monty Carlo. I finished it a bit earlier than I expected, and didn't have the engine hoist at the time.
So what did I do?! ...like the dumb kid that I was, I picked up the 350 long-block (engine block with the cylinder heads still attached), set it on my leg while I opened my trunk, and rolled it into the trunk of my car to take back as a core. I'm 6'3" and at the time I weighed in around 160lbs.
I must be awfully strong, huh?!
I went home, and sat down for a little while (I had to go to work in a few hours); when the time came for me to start getting active and take a shower to head to work, I could barely move.
I think it's kind of a wonder I didn't hurt my back or give myself a hernia. When I took my pants off to get in the shower, I had a two foot long bruise going down my leg where I had rested the engine on it! I bounced back quickly enough, although I had trouble with the leg for a couple of days. I was just twenty-something back then though: my, how times have changed!
The couch fiasco has had me moving like a reject from "Night of the Living Dead" for days now! Sometimes I can overexert and bounce back in hours ...most of the time it's closer to days or weeks (months, a few times). I think it's pretty amazing what most anyone can do if they have enough of an adreneline high, but I would probably take the cake.
Oddly, I know I shouldn't have done it; my brother could have made it over the next evening. I might have even found a neighbor to help. But I need to clarrify that I have absolutely no REGRETS about taking it on; in fact, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It was a silly thing to do, and hell, to be fair ...I could have even injured myself doing it.
But ya'know ...you just can't stop living because life has dealt you a bad hand of cards! ...I could write volumes on this, but suffice it to say it's still what I live by.
all for now!
It's Wednesday now, and I'm still suffering from the overexertion of it.
I had a friend quite a few years back that we had a bit of a "parting of ways" over his handling of a back injury. He was a neat guy, but he really was a bit of a pothead "schemer" who was always trying to come up with "that big score." He hurt his back on a job, then he kept taking more jobs that he amazingly kept injuring his back in.
Now don't get me wrong, he did mess his back up! ...but to this day, I still believe he over-inflated the extent to which is was hurt. I know good and well if he had just got a desk job somewhere, it would have avoided further injuries.
BUT on around his third lawsuit from the third employer since it all began, they had a private investigator filming him changing out the cylinder heads on his van. I think it could have been at least a little less damning; hell, I would have been in those videos as well! I was there to help him for the stuff that was too heavy, and saw how worn out he was after a hard day and how much pain he was in at times.
We had a parting of ways (no ugliness; I just "let" us fall out of touch) after he lost his case for the disability, and then entered a new one for racial discrimination. It was really silly, and I think deep down, even he knew it was bullshit. But there ya go.
I've mused to myself a few times what would happen if some investigator brought out the video equipment with me. It would be amusing when I do stupid shit like move a couch all by myself, but it would have to have some major editing to ever be actually used against me in any sort of court.
I get away with doing a whole lot of shit I really don't have any business doing in the first place! Oddly, it probably tends to be pretty obvious to any kind of onlooker that I probably shouldn't be doing it at all. My ambulatory nature kind of depends on my ability to ignore stuff. When I drive, I have to totally ignore what my sense of motion is telling me; it took me quite a few years to learn how to shut that out!
I do the same with pain, I do the same with nausea. Just because I have the ability to do certain things hardly means I don't suffer for it in other ways. When I was in my 20's, I put an engine in a friends '77 Monty Carlo. I finished it a bit earlier than I expected, and didn't have the engine hoist at the time.
So what did I do?! ...like the dumb kid that I was, I picked up the 350 long-block (engine block with the cylinder heads still attached), set it on my leg while I opened my trunk, and rolled it into the trunk of my car to take back as a core. I'm 6'3" and at the time I weighed in around 160lbs.
I must be awfully strong, huh?!
I went home, and sat down for a little while (I had to go to work in a few hours); when the time came for me to start getting active and take a shower to head to work, I could barely move.
I think it's kind of a wonder I didn't hurt my back or give myself a hernia. When I took my pants off to get in the shower, I had a two foot long bruise going down my leg where I had rested the engine on it! I bounced back quickly enough, although I had trouble with the leg for a couple of days. I was just twenty-something back then though: my, how times have changed!
The couch fiasco has had me moving like a reject from "Night of the Living Dead" for days now! Sometimes I can overexert and bounce back in hours ...most of the time it's closer to days or weeks (months, a few times). I think it's pretty amazing what most anyone can do if they have enough of an adreneline high, but I would probably take the cake.
Oddly, I know I shouldn't have done it; my brother could have made it over the next evening. I might have even found a neighbor to help. But I need to clarrify that I have absolutely no REGRETS about taking it on; in fact, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It was a silly thing to do, and hell, to be fair ...I could have even injured myself doing it.
But ya'know ...you just can't stop living because life has dealt you a bad hand of cards! ...I could write volumes on this, but suffice it to say it's still what I live by.
all for now!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
social statements and giving birth to a couch
Well, at least I've FINALLY got my new place completely furnished! I've kind of waited for that "perfect storm" of events to converge; when one is specifically looking for a FREE couch, that can often be no mean feat (especially since I don't have a pickup). So, I've been diligently searching the "free" section of Craigslist; I've had a few nibbles, but logistics have proven to be the hardest part. I think I've seen an average of 4 a day hit the list, and it seems like the ones that have looked pretty good tend to be gone in the time it takes me to "rally the troops" to get it.
Well, I had THOUGHT that "perfect storm" finally fell into place yesterday. A listing came up and I was on it within minutes of the posting; the picture looked nice ...I called my brother (with the pickup) and had him go to the listing to see if he'd be available to help, and if he thought it would make the turn to get it into the living room. I gave the girl a call, and I was actually the first call on it (she also assured me that it was indeed "standard-sized")! So far it's looking good, although the brother and I still had a few reservations about the size. I decided to go ahead and drive up to Denton and have a look, and my brother says he needed a little while to get ready, but he'll meet me there with the truck.
Sounds great, huh?! ...well, as in life; there is something to be said about "the best laid plans of mice and men." This is where the "perfect storm" downgraded to a bit of a drizzle (maybe even a light mist). About 5 miles out of Denton, the call comes in from my brother; my sister in law had been napping while we were talking before, and she *ahem* "reminded" him that they had plans for the evening. OOPS!!! (...and in my case, a few choice obscenities muttered under my breath).
All isn't lost though; the upside is that he's more than happy to leave me the keys to his truck as long as he can use my car to go to work the next day! I get to the gals apartment, have a look, and the couch looks fine! Perhaps a little worn in spots, but hey ...it's FREE! I explain the logistical difficulties that have arisen; that I'd need to run to Southlake to get the truck, and she was fine with that. She was a cute 'lil thing, and told me that she and her Mom had moved the thing INTO the apartment themselves, and felt pretty confident that she could help me load it (whew).
So far so good. I zoom down to Southlake, drop the car off and get the pickup ...drive back up. Sure enough, she and I were able to get it loaded with no problems. Her parting words were to the effect of "good luck with getting it UNloaded!" (it wasn't sarcasm, she was really sweet) But yeah. I HAVE the damn thing now, but absolutely nobody to help me unload it ...and one slightly gimpy person can't exactly get a full-sized couch navigated into a really uber-tight place without a bit of help, right?!
Well, a completely sane person probably wouldn't have even TRIED, but well...
Then there's me.
C'mon ...it's less than 20 feet from the parking lot to my front door (never mind the small narrow stairs I have to go up with the rails on either side); I can DO it! I guess I'll have to watch Youtube to make sure no hidden fuckers filmed me, although I suspect it might be kind of amusing if they did. What I find most amazing of all is that I actually managed to do it without any tears or stains that didn't wipe right off with a soapy rag. I made it in the door, slid it across into the kitchen, tried to angle it back around for the turn into the living room...
...and it wouldn't make the turn. AND my adrenaline rush began fizzling partway through the ordeal.
I began looking at the couch in a new light, and pondering the "social statement" that might be made by having a couch in a narrow kitchen. Sure, so I can't get the refrigerator door open all the way, but maybe that can be part of my "statement!"
I'm protesting lousy government by putting a couch in my kitchen!!!!
Shit, I wouldn't exactly fall for that one either. So I sat down to rest for a while and ponder: What kind of social statement can I make up to justify having a couch in my kitchen?! Damn!
A few hours pass by, and I just can't come up with anything that will sound remotely believable, so dammit ...I guess I'm just going to have to figure out a way to get the damned thing into the living room (besides, I need unfettered access to the beer; a guy has to have priorities!).
I tried turning the thing in every conceivable angle, measured, pushed, grunted, groaned ...probably even invented a few interesting new curses along the way. I'd really like to think if I had another person helping that the laws of physics might have changed a little bit and an extra dimension would have opened up to make that sucker fit through, but I really don't know; all I know for sure is that there was no way on the green earth that sucker was going to make that turn with just me doing it.
Now ...I wouldn't exactly call the hole in the wall between the kitchen and my dining room a "bar" by any definition. For those who read the previous post about my skills in the kitchen, it might be better described as more of a "goober viewing hole" to a victi ...I mean, recipient of my kitchen offerings while I'm "cooking." But I got out the measuring tape anyway. Without giving the measurements, I can tell you without a doubt that it is EXACTLY the same size as my couch, and when I say exactly ...I MEAN exactly! I even had to take out the light fixture over the sink, but that sucker squeezed through without a millimeter to spare!
I kinda wish I had filmed it; the "kitchen gives birth to a couch" video might have been a real hit! I'm almost left to wonder if that opening was even there until the first tenant tried to get a frickin couch in here (could that understated smell be black powder?)! ...but it's in, and the muttifer is absolutely ecstatic with it! He barely even let me get the cushions on before claiming as his own (although he's pretty generous about sharing it at least).
So now I'm furnished at last; I'll need to find an endtable or two somewhere down the line, but it looks pretty good! The next "project" will be getting up pictures, and do a bit more basic organizing that I've been holding off on until I had a basic layout, but the worst is finally over.
In other news, I think I have some new upstairs neighbors. Either that or they've just been really, REALLY quiet up to now, but just got a pet elephant.
Well, I had THOUGHT that "perfect storm" finally fell into place yesterday. A listing came up and I was on it within minutes of the posting; the picture looked nice ...I called my brother (with the pickup) and had him go to the listing to see if he'd be available to help, and if he thought it would make the turn to get it into the living room. I gave the girl a call, and I was actually the first call on it (she also assured me that it was indeed "standard-sized")! So far it's looking good, although the brother and I still had a few reservations about the size. I decided to go ahead and drive up to Denton and have a look, and my brother says he needed a little while to get ready, but he'll meet me there with the truck.
Sounds great, huh?! ...well, as in life; there is something to be said about "the best laid plans of mice and men." This is where the "perfect storm" downgraded to a bit of a drizzle (maybe even a light mist). About 5 miles out of Denton, the call comes in from my brother; my sister in law had been napping while we were talking before, and she *ahem* "reminded" him that they had plans for the evening. OOPS!!! (...and in my case, a few choice obscenities muttered under my breath).
All isn't lost though; the upside is that he's more than happy to leave me the keys to his truck as long as he can use my car to go to work the next day! I get to the gals apartment, have a look, and the couch looks fine! Perhaps a little worn in spots, but hey ...it's FREE! I explain the logistical difficulties that have arisen; that I'd need to run to Southlake to get the truck, and she was fine with that. She was a cute 'lil thing, and told me that she and her Mom had moved the thing INTO the apartment themselves, and felt pretty confident that she could help me load it (whew).
So far so good. I zoom down to Southlake, drop the car off and get the pickup ...drive back up. Sure enough, she and I were able to get it loaded with no problems. Her parting words were to the effect of "good luck with getting it UNloaded!" (it wasn't sarcasm, she was really sweet) But yeah. I HAVE the damn thing now, but absolutely nobody to help me unload it ...and one slightly gimpy person can't exactly get a full-sized couch navigated into a really uber-tight place without a bit of help, right?!
Well, a completely sane person probably wouldn't have even TRIED, but well...
Then there's me.
C'mon ...it's less than 20 feet from the parking lot to my front door (never mind the small narrow stairs I have to go up with the rails on either side); I can DO it! I guess I'll have to watch Youtube to make sure no hidden fuckers filmed me, although I suspect it might be kind of amusing if they did. What I find most amazing of all is that I actually managed to do it without any tears or stains that didn't wipe right off with a soapy rag. I made it in the door, slid it across into the kitchen, tried to angle it back around for the turn into the living room...
...and it wouldn't make the turn. AND my adrenaline rush began fizzling partway through the ordeal.
I began looking at the couch in a new light, and pondering the "social statement" that might be made by having a couch in a narrow kitchen. Sure, so I can't get the refrigerator door open all the way, but maybe that can be part of my "statement!"
I'm protesting lousy government by putting a couch in my kitchen!!!!
Shit, I wouldn't exactly fall for that one either. So I sat down to rest for a while and ponder: What kind of social statement can I make up to justify having a couch in my kitchen?! Damn!
A few hours pass by, and I just can't come up with anything that will sound remotely believable, so dammit ...I guess I'm just going to have to figure out a way to get the damned thing into the living room (besides, I need unfettered access to the beer; a guy has to have priorities!).
I tried turning the thing in every conceivable angle, measured, pushed, grunted, groaned ...probably even invented a few interesting new curses along the way. I'd really like to think if I had another person helping that the laws of physics might have changed a little bit and an extra dimension would have opened up to make that sucker fit through, but I really don't know; all I know for sure is that there was no way on the green earth that sucker was going to make that turn with just me doing it.
Now ...I wouldn't exactly call the hole in the wall between the kitchen and my dining room a "bar" by any definition. For those who read the previous post about my skills in the kitchen, it might be better described as more of a "goober viewing hole" to a victi ...I mean, recipient of my kitchen offerings while I'm "cooking." But I got out the measuring tape anyway. Without giving the measurements, I can tell you without a doubt that it is EXACTLY the same size as my couch, and when I say exactly ...I MEAN exactly! I even had to take out the light fixture over the sink, but that sucker squeezed through without a millimeter to spare!
I kinda wish I had filmed it; the "kitchen gives birth to a couch" video might have been a real hit! I'm almost left to wonder if that opening was even there until the first tenant tried to get a frickin couch in here (could that understated smell be black powder?)! ...but it's in, and the muttifer is absolutely ecstatic with it! He barely even let me get the cushions on before claiming as his own (although he's pretty generous about sharing it at least).
So now I'm furnished at last; I'll need to find an endtable or two somewhere down the line, but it looks pretty good! The next "project" will be getting up pictures, and do a bit more basic organizing that I've been holding off on until I had a basic layout, but the worst is finally over.
In other news, I think I have some new upstairs neighbors. Either that or they've just been really, REALLY quiet up to now, but just got a pet elephant.
Friday, June 27, 2008
"a guy who knows his way around a kitchen"
I've heard a few women list this in their "wants" for a dude, and I always crack up a little bit.
I DO know my way around the kitchen, although in my own kitchen, that leans primarily towards intimate knowledge of where the fire extinguishers are located (and where I put the beer).
A gal asked me a while back if I would cook for her, and I replied "sure ...but most of the dates I've done that for would PAY me not to do it again!"
...ah, but those romantic evenings in the emergency room!
My mother asked me if I needed a kitchen timer when I moved, and I told her I was pretty sure the smoke detector works here.
Yeah, I can even fuck up the recipe for ice cubes, but I guess I get by even though the neighborhood roaches have boycotted my place (...they do look kind of cute with their tiny little "even we have standards!!!" picket signs in a creepy insectile kind of way though).
I always have fun with the self-depreciating humor about my lack of aptitude with cooking. I'm one of four siblings, and it would appear that I'm the only one who never took to it; the upside to that deficiency is that I'm also the only one who has never had weight problems. All of my sibs play at least two musical instruments as well, and I'm stuck with the measly one (OK, I admit that my one is the stereo, but I think I play it pretty well!). I guess it all equals out one way or another.
Moving forward though; when I moved into my place, I noticed that the microwave didn't work, and I didn't really give it a second thought as I had my own anyway. I've been here for nearly four weeks now, but Monday was the first time I actually decided to cook something up though (I thought about trying to throw some french-sounding spin on "hamburger helper" in the above statement, but I didn't think it would fool anyone). Using my vast amount of mechanical knowledge, I was able to divine that when you turn a burner on, the lack of any sort of heat indicates a problem.
All the apartments here have an oven/stove with a built-in microwave, and I guess it just never really occurred to me that since the controls for the oven and stove are shared with the microwave controls, that the whole thing wasn't working, but I guess I discovered that fairly quickly. I felt a little bit silly going in and turning in a service request this far down the line, but I just didn't quite have the lead in my ass to pull the bulky affair out from the wall by myself, so I just swallowed my pride and went ahead and did it.
The head maintainance dude here was in the office when I turned it in, and he gave me one of those "suspicious" sideways looks (you're just NOW figuring that out?!); I even admitted that I didn't think it was plugged in, but couldn't find the outlet because I couldn't get the thing pulled out.
...another "suspicious glare. I said "dude! ...I'm a single guy!" (the fact that I haven't actually BEEN here a lot since the move doesn't hurt either, but still ...I can see where he was coming from)
When I got in late last night, the clock on the microwave was blinking and there was a note on the counter: "it's working now. You were right, it was unplugged."
Although part of me wants to feel vindicated, mostly I just feel like a dork!
So now I can "cook" to my hearts content; that ought to take about ...oops, there it went!
I DO know my way around the kitchen, although in my own kitchen, that leans primarily towards intimate knowledge of where the fire extinguishers are located (and where I put the beer).
A gal asked me a while back if I would cook for her, and I replied "sure ...but most of the dates I've done that for would PAY me not to do it again!"
...ah, but those romantic evenings in the emergency room!
My mother asked me if I needed a kitchen timer when I moved, and I told her I was pretty sure the smoke detector works here.
Yeah, I can even fuck up the recipe for ice cubes, but I guess I get by even though the neighborhood roaches have boycotted my place (...they do look kind of cute with their tiny little "even we have standards!!!" picket signs in a creepy insectile kind of way though).
I always have fun with the self-depreciating humor about my lack of aptitude with cooking. I'm one of four siblings, and it would appear that I'm the only one who never took to it; the upside to that deficiency is that I'm also the only one who has never had weight problems. All of my sibs play at least two musical instruments as well, and I'm stuck with the measly one (OK, I admit that my one is the stereo, but I think I play it pretty well!). I guess it all equals out one way or another.
Moving forward though; when I moved into my place, I noticed that the microwave didn't work, and I didn't really give it a second thought as I had my own anyway. I've been here for nearly four weeks now, but Monday was the first time I actually decided to cook something up though (I thought about trying to throw some french-sounding spin on "hamburger helper" in the above statement, but I didn't think it would fool anyone). Using my vast amount of mechanical knowledge, I was able to divine that when you turn a burner on, the lack of any sort of heat indicates a problem.
All the apartments here have an oven/stove with a built-in microwave, and I guess it just never really occurred to me that since the controls for the oven and stove are shared with the microwave controls, that the whole thing wasn't working, but I guess I discovered that fairly quickly. I felt a little bit silly going in and turning in a service request this far down the line, but I just didn't quite have the lead in my ass to pull the bulky affair out from the wall by myself, so I just swallowed my pride and went ahead and did it.
The head maintainance dude here was in the office when I turned it in, and he gave me one of those "suspicious" sideways looks (you're just NOW figuring that out?!); I even admitted that I didn't think it was plugged in, but couldn't find the outlet because I couldn't get the thing pulled out.
...another "suspicious glare. I said "dude! ...I'm a single guy!" (the fact that I haven't actually BEEN here a lot since the move doesn't hurt either, but still ...I can see where he was coming from)
When I got in late last night, the clock on the microwave was blinking and there was a note on the counter: "it's working now. You were right, it was unplugged."
Although part of me wants to feel vindicated, mostly I just feel like a dork!
So now I can "cook" to my hearts content; that ought to take about ...oops, there it went!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Without Preamble
Well, I guess I'm back to this blog again, although I can't honestly say as it ever really got off the ground to begin with (and this is a good thing, I think).
I have a really bad habit of starting a blog, attaining a decent readership ...then ditching it completely in the height of success. Perhaps I have a thing with underachieving; hence the new tagline: "dysfunctional diaries." Maybe some new readers and I can explore that tendency somewhere down the line. It ain't gonna happen this month though.
I decided to opt for the "adult content" warning, merely because I enjoy cussing a little bit too much in my blog. Interesting dichotomy, as in realtime I really don't lean towards too much of a "potty mouth," but it never hurts to cover all the bases; I'd hate for "Little Timmy" to pick up a few choice naughty words from me...
I have an "interesting" sense of humor, and enjoy watching the mundane for the funny stuff, and I seldom ever get let down. Humor lurks in the oddest of places, and generally if there is anyone who can find it, that person tends to be me.
Now the problem: I just moved back to Dallas, and I'm having a little bit of trouble finding which box I packed my sense of humor in, although I'm fairly certain I'll find it soon. I go through phases where I just don't feel up to the writing, so long disappearances are not exactly an uncommon occurrence with me.
Sometimes my disability can be a real bitch, and I'm never really sure whether I over or understate it. I guess it's almost like anyone else, disabled or not; I have good days/weeks/months, and bad ones. For the last few weeks, it hasn't been good to me at all given the move and the overabundance of activity; Saturday put me into a bit of a tizzy that I still haven't quite been able to get out from under, but as with Zen Laxative: this too shall pass!
Look for all kinds of stuff from me in the future; I still haven't decided as to whether I'm going to completely ditch my most recent blog (that has been long neglected). I'm nothing if not fickle that way. One of the things that I feel may have held me back a little bit was the refusal to publicly acknowledge the fact that I'm disabled. It was an adult oriented site, and that just wasn't a part of me that I wanted to put out there.
I'm an agnostic humanist, so if you are a right wing Christian conservative, odds are you may find me a little bit offensive from time to time.
I consider myself to be a little bit left of center, although I'd much better fit into the category of a "moderate" over a "Democrat." I'm liable to get political from time to time, and if you see through extremely red-tinted lenses ...once again, I may be a bit offensive.
So as far as introductions go, this is it for now!
I have a really bad habit of starting a blog, attaining a decent readership ...then ditching it completely in the height of success. Perhaps I have a thing with underachieving; hence the new tagline: "dysfunctional diaries." Maybe some new readers and I can explore that tendency somewhere down the line. It ain't gonna happen this month though.
I decided to opt for the "adult content" warning, merely because I enjoy cussing a little bit too much in my blog. Interesting dichotomy, as in realtime I really don't lean towards too much of a "potty mouth," but it never hurts to cover all the bases; I'd hate for "Little Timmy" to pick up a few choice naughty words from me...
I have an "interesting" sense of humor, and enjoy watching the mundane for the funny stuff, and I seldom ever get let down. Humor lurks in the oddest of places, and generally if there is anyone who can find it, that person tends to be me.
Now the problem: I just moved back to Dallas, and I'm having a little bit of trouble finding which box I packed my sense of humor in, although I'm fairly certain I'll find it soon. I go through phases where I just don't feel up to the writing, so long disappearances are not exactly an uncommon occurrence with me.
Sometimes my disability can be a real bitch, and I'm never really sure whether I over or understate it. I guess it's almost like anyone else, disabled or not; I have good days/weeks/months, and bad ones. For the last few weeks, it hasn't been good to me at all given the move and the overabundance of activity; Saturday put me into a bit of a tizzy that I still haven't quite been able to get out from under, but as with Zen Laxative: this too shall pass!
Look for all kinds of stuff from me in the future; I still haven't decided as to whether I'm going to completely ditch my most recent blog (that has been long neglected). I'm nothing if not fickle that way. One of the things that I feel may have held me back a little bit was the refusal to publicly acknowledge the fact that I'm disabled. It was an adult oriented site, and that just wasn't a part of me that I wanted to put out there.
I'm an agnostic humanist, so if you are a right wing Christian conservative, odds are you may find me a little bit offensive from time to time.
I consider myself to be a little bit left of center, although I'd much better fit into the category of a "moderate" over a "Democrat." I'm liable to get political from time to time, and if you see through extremely red-tinted lenses ...once again, I may be a bit offensive.
So as far as introductions go, this is it for now!
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